Page 76 of The Killer Card

“I’m admitting nothing,” I shake my head. “But I will. If you want me to, I will. I’ll admit that I enjoyed watching my grandfather die, that beating Andrei to death was the best feeling I ever experienced, if you’ll admit to me- someone who wants nothing but to help you- that you have a problem.”

Naomi shakes her head, her knuckles white around the edge of the table. I take another deep, controlled breath. “Admit to me that you’re an alcoholic and I will—”

“I’m not an alcoholic!” She shoves at my chest, hard enough to make me step back, to give her space. “I don’t have a problem, Graham! I’m twenty-two fucking years old! I like to drink, fucking sue me!”

“Naomi—”

“No!” She levels a finger in my face as the alarm for the dryer goes off. She points to the laundry room. “Get your shirt and fucking leave my house. Now.”

“Mi reina, we need to talk about this—”

“GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!”

Gritting my teeth I grab my shirt from the dryer- the blood is still there- and pull it on thankful that at least the rain has stopped. Before I make it to the door I turn around because I fucking love her and I need to try just one last time—

“LEAVE, GRAHAM!”

My jaw clenches around my protestations but I do as she says, slamming the door behind me. I know from experience that I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It took me years to go to my friends for help but FUCK I don’t want to have to watch Naomi get to that point. I don’t want to watch her have to struggle with the physical, mental, socioemotional problems that come with an unchecked addiction.

Because I love her.

Because I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her from the moment I saw her that first night. I would do anything for her. I would admit to heinous fucking crimes for her.

But I can’t help her if she isn’t ready for my help…

Which means I need to focus on the more immediate problems I've created for myself.

The cops are in the parking lot of my building when I pull up, lights flashing, one of them in the car, the other knocking on my door. With a sigh, I park and prepare to face the consequences of my actions.

✽✽✽

"Thank you for bailing me out, Eli,” I mutter, leaning my head back against the seat. “Again.”

Elias reaches over, gripping my shoulder tight. “I’ll always bail you out, amigo. Especially when you did nothing wrong—”

“I almost beat a man to death,” I crack an eye to see him shrug.

“Almost,” he repeats pointedly. “And you did it to save a friend. That man would have done far worse to her if you hadn’t been there.” He looks over at me as he takes a turn. “You did the right thing, Graham. I’ll get Mateo on it, we’ll scrub it from your record—”

“Don’t bother,” I sigh. “I’ll be working off my debts to you until the day I die anyway.”

He chuckles softly and I try to get just a little nap in as he drives out to his house. He already warned me that everyone is gathered there- Clara’s mom included- for some big thank you dinner. I don’t deserve it and would really rather shower and go to bed for the next several days, but I also can’t exactly tell them to fuck off either.

I can never sleep when I get locked up like this. Something in me always warns to keep one eye open and I end up laying there all night. Sometimes Elias gets me early enough that it doesn’t matter, but I was one of the last released today and even my bones are fucking tired.

It doesn’t help that all I can think about is how I left Naomi’s house last night. The way she screamed at me to leave, her eyes bloodshot but with no signs of yellowing. Hopefully that means I caught it early enough that she hasn’t done proper damage yet. I don’t know how long she’s been drinking like this. If Poppy or Clara knew they surely would have done something about it by now. They wouldn’t enable her, constantly putting her in situations where temptation is just within reach.

She was so furious when she kicked me out last night. I recognized that look in her eyes immediately, the defensiveness in her tone. Because I’d used it a dozen times myself. I’d spoken to Elias and Rowan that way so many times in the early days of my recovery, said things I can never take back, and am so fucking lucky they still chose to stay by my side.

Which is just one more reason I need to stay by Naomi’s side. No matter how much she tries to push me away, I need to take care of her. I need to support her even if she doesn’t realize yet that she needs help.

When Elias pulls up in front of his house, I take a moment just to breathe, preparing myself for whatever wall of gratitude I’m about to walk into. I don’t deserve it. All I did was stop a man from hurting my friend. It was simply the right thing to do. Beating a man near to death, however—

“Oyé,” Elias grips my shoulder, drawing my attention to his fatherly smile. “You did a good thing, amigo. Get out of your head. You saved a friend—”

“I—”

“I don’t care about that piece of shit. He lived. He won’t be pressing charges. We’ll protect you.” He squeezes again. “Tonight, just let yourself be the hero.”