Page 130 of Summer Holiday Lifeline

Myles gulped hard. He almost did back away, then. But the look on Steven’s face, the demand, unspoken and gentle, but still a demand, for honesty nearly broke him.

But he said it. “I hate that I’m leaving you.”

Rather than still, or pull away like Myles expected, Steven smiled through what Myles could no longer deny were tears. “I know. But I don’t hate that we’re doing this before you do.”

“What if we don’t survive, so far apart?”

Steven leaned down to kiss him before he answered. When he did, it was with his mouth close to Myles’s ear. “Trust us,” was all he said, and then his focus went back to their bodies, as though determined to make this the best experience he could.

If they only had one chance to do it right, Steven deserved all of Myles’s attention too, so he put what-ifs out of his head and lost himself in their rhythm.

Their release was intensely silent and shuddering.

When it was over, Steven collapsed on the bed next to Myles, head on his shoulder, hand playing in Myles’s chest hair. Gone was the man who’d taken charge of their lovemaking.

Myles hugged him close, kissed his hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not.” The fake cheeriness cut deep, but then Steven rose to one elbow so he could look at Myles. “Sorry. That sounded glib.”

“A bit.”

Steven caressed his cheek. “I’m really not. I told you in the beginning I knew what I was getting into.”

“I let myself—I let us both—believe I might stay.”

“You didn’t let me believe anything. Whatever I thought, it’s on me. I fell in love with you, and I’m not sorry I did.”

For the first time, Myles rolled them so he was on top. So he could gaze down into trusting blue eyes, still glimmering with a wetness that was Myles’s fault, no matter what Steven told him. “I didn’t want to be the guy who steamrollered through your life. I don’t want to be the reason⁠—”

“You gotta stop that.” Steven grinned at him, more crooked than ever, because he was grinning, but he was also serious. “You aren’t the reason I do anything. I have my own mind. I’m perfectly capable of making it up how I see fit. My own heart, and I’ll give it to you if I damn well please. Got it?”

Myles nodded.

“And I’m not going to crawl back into my shell and hide the minute you leave town. You reminded me that’s on me, too. If you’re the reason for anything, you can be happy you’re the reason I stopped being a recluse.”

“Well.” Myles flopped back next to him. “I didn’t have anything to do with that. You came to me on your own.”

“You see?” Steven turned his head so they were gazing at one another again. “I’m fine. I will be fine.” He cupped Myles’s face. “So will you be.”

“I’m going to be on my own back there.”

“We all still love you. We’re all still here for you.”

Myles nodded.

“You can do this. Those kids believe in you, and trust me when I say kids know. If you weren’t worthy of them, they would be the first to tell you.”

“You want to know the most ironic part of it? Jet hated me hauling them out here. Now he’s the one who wants to stay. And I’m going to make him go back.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right call. Whatever ends up happening.”

“I know. I was so sure keeping his father’s wishes to myself was the right thing there for a hot minute. I was afraid he wouldn’t choose me over his father. But what kind of choice is it if he doesn’t even know there’s one to be made?”

“And so what if he does? Will you love him any less?”

“Of course not.”

“And will you still be there for him no matter what happens with his dad?”