Page 67 of Reforming the Rakish Marquess

“Her mother told me on her deathbed. She wanted to ensure her daughter was cared for and didn’t end up on the streets.”

“Who was her mother?” Jude’s face reddened that he had to ask such a question. He had more than a few bed partners over the last few years. He regretted his abhorrent behavior since he learnt what it was like to be in the arms of the woman he loved.

“Ann Williams, my lord.”

Jude grimaced. He should have asked Ann why she ended their arrangement. He hadn’t cared. He kept everyone at arm’s length, and he moved on as if she hadn’t existed. He knew he must be a deep red at the shame and embarrassment he felt that he was just meeting his own child and hadn’t ensured that he and her mother were provided for.

“She left you this letter,” the woman said, handing it to Jude while still securing the child in her arms.

He took the letter and opened it, the paper shaking from the way his hands trembled as he scanned it.

I apologize for never telling you about your daughter, Rose. I feared you would take her from me and never allow me to see her. I became very sick, and the doctor isn’t certain I will survive. If I don’t, I hope you will keep Rose safe and give her a good life.

Jude read the letter three times, trying to make sense of it all. The stirring of the child in the woman’s arms caught his attention. Her eyes were open, the same gray that matched his own. She smiled at him, and she had the same deep dimples that he did. Her smile took hold of his heart and his eyes welled with tears.

Something about her reminded him of what he was like as a boy. So innocent and just needing to be loved. As terrified as he was, he knew he must be that for her. He owed it to her, and he owed it to Ann.

“Papa?” her sweet little voice asked.

He drew a deep breath and fought off the tears.

“Her mother told her she would meet her papa soon,” the woman explained.

He nodded, attempting to get control of his emotions. He had never been around children, and he had no idea of how to be father, especially from the example he had been given. “Nice to meet you, poppet,” he said to the child as softly as he could.

“Where’s Mama?” she asked, looking around the room and clinging tighter to the woman Jude assumed must have been a nanny to her.

“She wasn’t feeling her best, and she’s gone to be with the angels now,” Jude said, unsure what to say that she would understand.

Her lips turned into a small pout and before she could start crying, Jude moved closer to her and ran his knuckles along her cheek.

“But you are going to live with me now, so all will be well.” His voice cracked on the last few words.

Regaining control of himself, he shifted his attention to the woman. “Were you her nanny?”

“Yes, my lord. I’ve been with Rose since she was born.”

“Are you available to be in my employ to continue caring for her?” he asked, hoping she could stay. Rose would need someone she knew and trusted during the transition, and he could use all the help he could get.

“I would be grateful for that, my lord. I should like to stay with Rose.”

Relieved, he reached for the bell pull, and Abbott appeared a few moments later.

“Please have the nursery readied for Mrs.…,” Jude paused and glanced at the woman, realizing that he had never asked her name. He was a muddled mess and needed to get his wits about him.

“Jones, my lord,” she answered.

He nodded and shifted his attention back to Abbott. “Mrs. Jones and Rose. Please ensure they have anything that they need.

“Mrs. Jones, please inform Abbott should you find you and Rose need anything. And inform him of Rose’s favorite foods, so that we can ensure Cook prepares things she will eat. I will come and visit later, after you have settled in,” Jude said.

“Follow me and I’ll show you the rooms,” Abbott said, speaking to Mrs. Jones.

Jude gave a small wave to Rose as her nanny carried her from the room. His head was spinning. He maintained his calm and control in front of the poor child, but his resolve was slipping. She already lost her mother and didn’t need to watch the only other parent she had left fall apart in front of her.

He retreated to his study and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it. A child. He was a father. How had he let this happen? It’s not like he wasn’t aware of how children were conceived. It was a risk with every encounter he ever had, and he realized how foolish it had been to take so many risks.

The image of the sweet girl’s face flashed in his mind. He knew from the moment he saw those eyes and dimples that he would love her and be the father she needed. He would be the father that he, himself, never had.