Page 31 of Awakened By the Guardian

Yes!

Orgasm. The hot rush of pleasure. A pulsing wave of wonder that repeated over and over, just like the first time. Joy. Release. And every eruption held her name.

Margaret.

CHAPTER 10

She had never seen anyone so happy as Gary at that moment, and the knowledge that she’d helped him get there was a bonfire of sweetness through Margaret’s whole body—which was a good thing, considering the fact that she was also really confused.

He’d gotten off, and she was beyond pleased about that. She was truly delighted that she had helped. If anyone deserved a good orgasm, it was Gary. Her problem came from the fact that she’d just done what she always did with guys who wanted sex from her; instead of standing her ground and saying no, she gave in because she cared for them. Because they wanted it. And so she found a way to give them what they wanted, her own feelings be damned.

It was an old pattern, part of her please-the-guy personality, and something she’d sworn to never, ever do again. But—this was the really confusing part—had she actually felt something this time? Had she just given in because he wanted this? Or had she been actually aroused by helping him get off? Especially after that really interesting kiss. She’d never had a guy go so slow with her before, never had someone just tease with his tongue. It was always a hard kiss then straight to the boob grab.

Margaret straightened off the edge of Gary’s wheelchair, startled to see that her hands shook. Even more confusing was the realization that her breasts and belly felt heavy and a little tingly. Was this arousal? The possibility was as frightening as it was exciting. Two years ago she’d declared herself asexual and that was that. Had she been wrong?

She didn’t know. She’d been so caught up in Gary that she hadn’t focused on herself—which was part of her problem. It was always about the guy, never about her. So, while she was really happy for Gary, she had no idea what her own feelings were.

She needed some distance. To be alone. To think about this and figure out exactly what she was doing.

For that reason, while he was still relaxed with bliss, she went to the bathroom to clean up and was startled by her reflection in the mirror. Damn… She looked like a wanton, with her full, pointy breasts and plump, red mouth. Her eyes had a feverish sheen, and her face had a secretive, naughty look. Oh hell. If she didn’t know better, she’d think she was in hot, horny love. But could that really be what she was feeling? Could she seriously have misjudged herself and all the men she’d ever been with?

Up until yesterday she wouldn’t have considered it. She and Gary were best friends. She would not screw that up with bad sex, which was all she’d ever managed. Yet, here was an ache in her girly parts. It was totally new, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

“You okay in there?” Gary called, his voice dreamy.

“Just cleaning up,” she answered.

She wet a cloth for him, but when she stepped out of the bathroom he’d already taken care of himself with some tissues. Then he looked up at her and she had to fight to hold his gaze. There was such happiness in his eyes. And love. A deep, warm sense of love that stole her breath away.

“Thank you,” he said.

She smiled self-consciously. “Believe me when I say that it was my pleasure. I’m thrilled that you have feeling again.”

He grinned. “Not in my legs, but you know what? If nothing else changes, this was totally worth it. Absolutely everything.”

She got that. How wonderful for him to enjoy orgasms again. She needed to say something distancing, something about the things best friends do for each other. It would put them back on the platonic level she was used to, but he didn’t give her the chance. Instead, he rolled his chair right up to her as he teased her with a wink.

“Ready for your turn?”

“No.” The word came out flatter and colder than she intended. She’d been feeling something, yes, and that was nice. But that didn’t mean she wanted to spread her legs and go porn star.

“Hey, hey,” he said, his hand extended. “It was a joke. I’m sorry.”

She knew that. He didn’t expect her to go porn star. Those were words that came from her own head—and maybe from a jerk of an ex-boyfriend.

“Talk to me, Margaret. Please.”

She took a breath, feeling lost. Yet, who better to talk with about this than her best friend? He was holding out his hand, and she took it, slowly entwining their fingers. She was surprised to feel nothing but warm comfort in his grip. No coercion. No intent.

“I felt something with you just now,” she found herself admitting. When his eyes abruptly brightened, she held up her free hand to stop him from assuming too much. “But I don’t know what feelings are mine and what feelings are…well, what you want me to feel.” She pulled her hand free. “You’re my best friend. I want to make you happy, and you want me to feel all hot and bothered for you. And maybe that will work, but only a bit.”

Gary’s answer was simple: “I want you to be you, Margaret.”

“And you want me to be Miss Orgasmic Bliss in your arms, too.”

“Not if you⁠—”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what I feel, Gary. I just don’t know.”