Page 58 of Bring Them Home

The tears broke loose, spilling down Zoe’s cheeks.

The pain her daughter was going through was too hard to witness. Amanda glanced away and found the teacher watching her, her forehead creased. She doesn’t know… “Zoe’s parents were both murdered over four years ago.”

“I saw everything,” Zoe inserted at a low volume.

Lila sat back, eyes wide, mouth gaped open. No words came out while seconds ticked off, marked by subtle thunks from the clock on the wall. “Zoe, I’m so sorry I accused you of making up a story and for all you’ve been through.”

Zoe shrugged. “Sometimes bad things happen. That’s what I’ve heard Amanda say before.”

And I’m back to Amanda… Zoe had just started calling her Mom last month, after four years together. And just like that, the progress they’d made was wiped out. “Sadly, they do.”

“Uh-huh.” Zoe nudged out her chin and faced Lila. “She lost her husband and first daughter.”

Amanda hadn’t told her about the unborn son she’d lost or that she could no longer have children. It never seemed like something Zoe needed to know, but it might be time for another conversation for the sake of transparency.

Lila looked at Amanda. “It sounds like both of you have been through an awful lot.”

“Would you share what you wrote with me, Zoe?” Amanda tried again. Though she gathered it was about her parents’ murders, she wanted to hear it from Zoe, even read what she wrote for herself.

She hopped off her chair, dug into her backpack, and pushed a folder toward Amanda.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Zoe scowled and didn’t retake her seat. “Can we go now?”

“I think that sounds like a good idea.”

Amanda thanked the teacher for calling this meeting. As ugly as all of this was, it shed light on how her daughter was really doing. Not well at all. But at the end of the day, Amanda’s desire to fix things meant nothing.

TWENTY-EIGHT

It had taken a bit of convincing on Amanda’s part, but Zoe got into her car. She did up her seatbelt and crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me about Mr. Archer’s wife and daughter?”

“I thought you had enough to deal with.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“It’s my job as your mother to⁠—”

“You’re not my mother.” Zoe defiantly met Amanda’s eye.

To protect you… “I am. Whether you like it or not, and just because you’re hurting, that doesn’t give you the right to hurt other people.”

Zoe’s eyes filled with tears before she turned away.

Was I being too harsh? She felt like a hypocrite since she hurt those most dear to her when grieving the loss of her family. In trying to deal with the sheer heartbreak of burying her husband, Kevin; daughter, Lindsey; and Nathan—the boy would have been named after her dad—she’d made the drastic decision to cut her parents and siblings from her life. While she thought this would protect her from further hurt, it was self-inflicted punishment for surviving when her family hadn’t. “It’s normal, Zoe,” she backpedaled.

“What is?”

“The urge to lash out, to say and do things to people we love when we’re hurting.” It doesn’t make it right… She held that bit back, wanting to keep the relational tone. “And I’m so very sorry you’re hurting, baby.”

Zoe said nothing but kicked farther back into the passenger seat.

“I’ll take us home, and there’s no need to talk anymore until you’re ready.” She wanted her daughter to know it was safe to feel and experience all that she was—without judgment, without a timeline.

Zoe faced her. “No. Call Grandma. You have work to do, don’t you?”

The girl’s words struck her like a blade to the heart. “Zoe, you’re the most important person in the world to me.” And you need me right now… She held back from saying that. Again, not wanting to pressure her into talking.