Page 68 of Left In The Dark

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it is.”

“My head is shaved.” Who am I even describing? Am I giving him a description of my dad? I almost described Hayden, but throwing him in different directions seems like more fun.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Yeah, it’s easier to manage with the work I do.”

“Is it some hard labor job?”

“Yeah,” I chirp, filling my mouth, hoping it’ll slow his questioning. Not because I’m not enjoying our conversation, but because I’m worried I’ll end up saying too much.

“Like a pipe plant or factory job?”

“Something like that,” I lie. I mean, I can’t exactly give him too much truth, and I don’t know why that bothers me so much. Telling him about myself, and him not judging me but being okay with it, had me feeling not as low about myself as I did before.

Did I need his approval too? Maybe not need, but having someone not push me away after throwing all of myself out there, when that’s usually been too much for others, felt nice. Then he rejected me in front of Hayden at what was going to be our special place. We have a new one now.

“Maybe I should have gotten into that career. Then I wouldn’t have fallen for a fake modeling gig.”

“Yeah, maybe. I’m sure I would have just found another way.”

“I still don’t understand why I’m here.”

“And that’s why you still are,” I push, reaching for my water, and I lie flat on my ass, stretching one of my legs out.

He studies it for a moment and then goes back to eating. After we’re both done cleaning off our plates, I go inside and put the brownies in the fridge on my way to the mail box. A stray cat rubs against my legs and I reach down to pet his soft black fur before collecting two packages that came today.

Inside one of them is an MP3 player, and in the other is a mixture of coloring books, coloring pencils, and a Kindle. That way he can choose the books he wants to read himself. I’ll give him access to Wi-Fi only on there, typing in the password myself when he’s ready to download books.

The black cat follows me down the narrow driveway, right on my heels, and I block him from following me into the house. I shove all of Blake’s new things into a bag I’ve been using to carry stuff into the barn and pack all the brownies into a plastic container. I grab a beanbag chair from the entryway closet before returning to the barn.

The cat is back to following me again, and I have no idea where he came from. “You gotta stay out here, pal. I don’t need you using the bathroom in the barn and stealing food while my piglet sleeps.”

He meows at me and I laugh, passing him by and closing him outside. Blake mutters something to himself as I’m climbing up the ladder.

“Talking to your shadow until I got back?”

His lips slant and he scoots back to the wall, propping himself up with his blanket lying flat over his lap. His metal stud gleams, making it hard to look away from his pretty pink nipples. I lick my lips, trying to shake away the thoughts. I hated myself for still wanting him after getting free from that tree and first bringing him here. Now I hate myself for limiting what I can do and when I could do it.

“What’s all that?” he says, pulling me from my reverie, and his eyes ping pong between my hands. “And what smells delicious?”

“A place for you to sit and read for when you don’t want to be in bed all day.”

He places his hands in his lap, his eyes beaming. “And that?” His finger lifts to the bag.

“Something to keep you occupied, your MP3 player I still need to put music on, and brownies.”

His interest piques. “Brownies?”

“I guess nothing else sounded as good to you, huh?” I waggle my brows. Not that he could see me doing it.

“It all sounds good, but it’s really hard to beat chocolate and I haven’t had brownies in forever.”

“I brought them so we had something to snack on while we read the next two chapters.”

“Are you sitting in the beanbag or next to me?”

“Which would you prefer?”