Page 114 of The Don’s Virgin Obsession

I suddenly remembered that night at the Ritz again. He was sitting there high and drunk while Nia and I performed for him.

That nigga wasn’t even mentally with us. He was somewhere else entirely. Probably thinking about Sade.

“That’s embarrassing,” I said out loud.

“What is?”

“We were in competition with a bitch that wasn’t even competing.”

Nia went quiet again after that. That irritated me, so I spoke.

“Bye, bitch. I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation with you. We ain’t friends, remember?” I hung up before she could respond.

I grabbed my wine and opened Instagram.

The first thing I saw was Sade’s page.

Regular pictures. Business shit. Design posts. Pretty ass smile.

Nothing flashy.

Nothing thirsty.

Nothing chasing attention.

No Vaughn on her page, but I knew what was up.

I stared at her picture.

Then, finally, I laughed under my breath. “Damn, Sade got the nigga I wanted…”

V Saint

“The closer death got to my father, the more I started thinking about the kind of life I actually wanted.”

Ifinally left the Ritz, sober, somewhat mentally okay. I had seen my doctor one last time. He prescribed me an antidepressant to get through the day and told me to start seeing a therapist to get a proper diagnosis. I took the meds but backburnered the therapist. I had to be honest with myself, I needed it, but I wasn’t ready.

Now I was riding in my two-seater Benz I got for my birthday. I was riding up the 405 freeway, switching lanes, top down. It was 9 PM, and I had Nipsey’s “Victory Lap” on repeat.

I kept thinking about Sade and what we did.

Wondering if I should have even done it.

I was vulnerable at the time, and she was the only thing that felt right and secure in those moments.

My thoughts kept moving.

She’s going to resent me, but she wanted me.

But did I want something so precious, so soon?

I shook my head.

Man up, nigga. She feeling you too.

Then my mind immediately went somewhere else.

She still seeing that nigga, tho’… she gon’ have to dead that. She’s mine now.