Page 24 of Queen of Ruin

No results.”

“Valentina Ivy wedding.”

No results.

“Fucking hell.” I tuck my hair tightly behind my ear while frustration builds. “Valentina Ruslan Ivy The Suit.”

No results.

“Am I a fucking ghost?”

Groaning, I flop back down against the pillows and gaze up at the ceiling. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I’m not searching for the right thing. Given everything I’ve forgotten, maybe I’ve forgotten how to even search for things?

Diego would know.

But he’s working.

Bracing my hand on the bed, I push myself back up to sitting. He’s working but there’s nothing stopping me from visiting him. At the very least, he might know what the Suit is or how it relates to a Queen. Maybe even my real name will be something he recognizes.

Closing the laptop, I slip from the bed and raid his closet once more. Choosing a T-shirt and some jeans that are too big for me, I wrap myself up in one of his hoodies and then immediately pause. It’s soft and smells like him. I never noticed that he had a smell before, but now that I’m wrapped in it, I can definitely smell it. Bringing the sleeves to my face, I breathe in the soft, woodsy scent that’s mixed with something subtly sweet, and my heart flips.

Should I use his house phone and call his mobile before I leave?

Maybe, but I decide against it, choosing to surprise him instead. After breathing in his scent for another few seconds, I shove my feet into borrowed trainers and slip from his apartment, locking the door with the spare key he left me for absolute emergencies. Hopefully, he won’t mind my using the emergency cash for bus fare, either, but in my defense, he did tell me I wasn’t a prisoner and could leave at any point.

I’m just going to go and see him, plus, the walk alone might do me some good.

Despite my high hopes for the travel or the walk to unlock something in my fogged mind, I’m left disappointed as I approach his bar thirty minutes later. It was around here that I first got into his car that night, but nothing looks familiar.

My heart begins to pound and a coldness wraps around my shoulders as I walk down the street toward the warm lights of the bar.

Was this a bad idea?

Should I have stayed home?

What if his shift is over and we’ve passed each other without knowing?

Laughter and cheers spill through the door as I approach, and the warmth of it is enough to send my heart racing faster even if it’s nice to hear. Someone stumbles out the door and flashes me a wide smile that fades when they notice the bruises on my face and the gauze on my forehead. Thankfully, they don’t say anything.

Maybe I should have waited for him to come home.

Stepping into The Crown, I beeline for the bar and quickly scan every face I see working there, but none of them are Diego. Finding a narrow spot, I press against the bar and clutch at the edges of my sleeves.

“Excuse me?”

“Be with you in a sec, doll,” says one of the bartenders as he flies past with cocktails in his hands.

This place is nice. Warm. The soft light keeps everything cozy and nearly every table is filled with happy customers. Sports play on one television while some sort of musical show plays on another. Waiters dart back and forth with fries and burgers while others weave around with trays of beer and more. It’s crazy to see normal life flowing past for all these people while I’m trapped in this fog.

Did I have a life like this? One where I sat in the corner of the bar with a drink in hand, maybe a book of some kind?

No, that doesn’t feel right.

Maybe I was something fancy like a lawyer. Valentina sounds like a lawyer's name or someone high up in a company that most people would be scared of. I could get behind that. Could a lawyer end up like this, beaten and left for dead without a single memory of her life?

If that’s my old life, I’m not sure I want to return to it.

What else could a Valentina do in life, though?