So he had. And the memory only brought a fresh wave of torment.
“Then we’ll attend together,” he told her, and took a step back. “I’ll visit William now.”
To his relief, and perhaps his disappointment, she let him go.
On the day of the ball, Jessamine wore a green gown, smoothing her hands down herself as she took a breath. Her maid pinned the last pearl in her hair.
Her first ball since she had married.
She’d been to a few before, of course, after she had moved back to London. Irene had been determined to do right by her, and so she’d had every social event one could imagine laid at her feet. Her introduction to London Society had been something spectacular, though short-lived before Rebecca had died and Jessamine’s life had changed forever.
There was a knock on the door, and Andrew stepped in. Her maid stepped back and curtsied, leaving the room.
Jessamine curled her hand into a fist by her side. They’d had little to do with one another since…
Well, since that night.
But he hadn’t avoided her the way she had expected. More, he kept his physical distance while engaging in conversation about mundane things.
“You’re dressed,” he said gruffly.
“Do you like it?” She turned away from their reflections in the mirror and turned to face him. There was a perfume bottle in her hand, and she anointed her wrists, rubbing them together. “I thought the green could be symbolic. New beginnings.”
A smile touched his mouth. “Yes. Very symbolic.”
“So you don’t like it?”
“I never said that.” He cleared his throat as he stepped closer. “I thought we might check on William together.”
Secretly, Jessamine was delighted. Both that his gaze kept traveling down her silhouette as though he could not help himself, and that he had come to her with this request about William. It wasn’t that she thought he didn’t care about William, but often their different types of caretaking took place at different times and in different ways.
Perhaps Lady Marwich was wrong; she was offering William love, yes, but perhaps Andrew offered the child more than merely security.
“Yes,” Jessamine said, and she smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He extended his arm to her, and she took it, as though they were walking into a ballroom. Together, they walked into the nursery, where William lay in his cradle, eyes open and his little fists waving. Lucy sewed in the corner, darning a pair of stockings.
“He’s perfectly contented just lying there,” Lucy said.
Jessamine scooped William into her arms. “What a brave little man,” she said, kissing his cheek. His hand batted her cheek, and she carefully removed it before he could grab her earring. “How can I leave you for an entire evening?”
This had been her idea, her plan, but now it was coming to fruition, she started to doubt whether she could go ahead with it.
This would be the longest time she had left him for. What if he cried and wanted her, and she didn’t come? Her stomach twisted at the thought.
A hand slid up her back, and she glanced over her shoulder to find Andrew standing close behind her, his body heat leeching into her. “He’ll be all right,” he said gently, as though he knew she needed the reassurance.
“But what if something goes wrong?”
“Nothing will go wrong. Look how healthy and happy he is. Lucy will take good care of him, feed him when necessary, and put him to bed. You know his routine. It’s almost his bedtime.”
And it was. Andrew, despite not being present for most of it, knew William’s routine just as well as she did.
She sniffed, kissing William’s head again. “All right.”
“And if there is a problem,” Andrew glanced up at Lucy, “then I’m sure someone will send us note, and we can come straight home.”
“Of course, Your Grace,” Lucy said immediately. “If anything goes wrong, I shall send for you at once.”