Page 52 of Dreaming Without Heartache

I shake my head in disbelief. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What does that mean?” Sam places her hands on her hips.

“How’d you two meet?” I toss one completely clean brush to the side.

“A mutual friend set us up. They had been trying for months, and I just finally agreed.”

“I’m glad it worked out.” I rub the remaining brush vigorously, trying to clean it as fast as possible since that seems to be my only way out of this garbage moment.

“Why are you being like this?” Sam squats down next to me. She reaches out and brushes my cheek with her fingers. “Paint,” she says, holding up her hand to show me.

I pull back and rub the spot she touched. Then I hear a scream. I look past Sam to see Maisie on the ground. She looks at me then begins crying hard. I take off running toward her. She reaches for me as I lift her off the ground. Her arms grip around my neck as sobs burst from her tiny body. I rush her to the deck and sit down on the steps.

“What hurts, honey?” I lean her back on my lap so I can see her face. Sam squats in front of us, resting her hands on my knees. Maisie doesn’t stop crying. I wipe the tears from her cheek, as she gasps to take breaths.

“Baby, talk to us.” Sam gently rubs her arm, encouraging her.

Maisie points toward her back. Sam raises her shirt as I pull Maisie forward to my chest. “It’s just a few scratches from the ground, sweetheart. You’re okay.” Sam seems to want to reassure me also, but I turn Maisie to see for myself. Sam pulls Maisie into her arms as I lift her shirt to see the scrapes down her back. They aren’t bad at all. I think the fall scared her more than anything. Maybe knocked the breath from her.

I kiss the back of her head. “You’re okay, honey. Tough as the nails in your tool belt.”

She turns her head to the side of Sam’s shoulder to look at me as she wipes the tears from her eyes. “I’m feeling better,” her little voice says as she sniffs.

“That’s good news. I didn’t want to eat your slice of pizza.” When I see her smile, I kiss the side of her face. I didn’t realize it before, but Sam’s hand is holding mine against Maisie’s back. I slide it away. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes.” Maisie smiles, not moving her head from Sam’s shoulder.

“Come here, honey.” I take her from Sam to walk in the house. “The food should be here by now.”

We walk into the kitchen and see four pizza boxes on the makeshift table. Everyone else must already have their food because slices are missing. I bet they didn’t tell us it was here to give Sam time to talk to me.

Sam grabs a few paper plates. “What do you want, baby?” She’s asking Maisie but looks me in the eyes. She knows what she’s doing. I’m positive about that. She fixes my plate as well as Maisie’s and carries them to the deck while I carry Maisie. It’s going to be a long weekend.

Chapter Nineteen

We’re back early at the house. Luke, Sam, and Steven beat us here. When Maisie woke this morning, she insisted we get breakfast for everyone. She got out her pen and paper and called to get their orders. She was excited to get to work today. It surprised me, considering how she likes to sleep in on Saturdays. Kara hasn’t complained too much because she knew Olivia would be around and she’s still grounded until the end of time. This is her only opportunity to hang out with her.

The dew on the grass glistens in the sunlight. The cool air feels as amazing as the colorful leaves surrounding us on this cloudless autumn morning. Regardless of the company, I’m as eager as Maisie to start the work day. This house will become a beautiful home, one someone can fall in love with. Built right, it should last.

Maisie unbuckles her seat belt before I put the car in park. “I can carry the food.” She bundles the bags in her arms. “See?” Her happiness is infectious.

“You’ve got it.” I give a small nod. It’s only two bags since everyone ordered breakfast biscuits and hashbrowns. I didn’t get drinks because Luke said he was bringing a cooler with all sorts of options. I do, however, have my coffee because it was a long, sleepless night.

Kara doesn’t say a word as she gets out to follow Maisie inside. I talked to her last night about making sure she does her work today. She can chat all she wants to Olivia while she’s here, but I need her to keep up the pace. Of course, she snarled at me like a wild animal. I actually told her not to do that again. Surprised myself doing so. It’s easier to stand firm when angry, but to do it during calmer moments takes more effort and consistency. It’s not my strongest suit when it comes to the girls. I want them to be happy. I often feel like Annie and Bill made a mistake making me their guardian instead of Judy. At least she’s raised a child before, and Kara does seem to respect her.

Coffee in hand, I make my way toward the house. I stop on the deck to admire the trees, their leaves turning in every shade of autumn. My green plaid flannel is perfect for this chilly morning. October through December has always been the best three months of the year. It was mine and Annie’s favorite. Now I have this emptiness inside where the joy of the season used to be. I’m not sure I’ll ever get that feeling back.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sam suddenly appears beside me. How’d I not hear her?

“It’ll cost you a lot more than that.” I wince after the words escape. I didn’t intend to engage with her like that.

Sam steps in front of me and props her back against the railing. “Oh? Expensive, are we?” She gives me a quirky little smile, half playful, half tentative.

I take a sip of coffee to regain my balance. “My thoughts are free. Access is premium.” I shrug as I let my eyes roam her body. I’ve stepped into this shit, might as well follow it through. I channel the old me that could flirt with the best of them and walk away like I have nothing to lose. And that’s what I plan to do with her. Though my grasp on the moment falters seeing her in black yoga pants that hug her god-given curves. The baggy light-blue shirt would make other women seem plain, but not Sam. She’s sexy. Especially because I know how those breasts look beneath the fabric.

“I’m willing to pay any price.” Her voice sounds sincere. Unfortunately, I have no confidence in her words.

I don’t want to, but my feet carry me to the railing beside her. My hand rests so close to hers that I can feel the heat, but I don’t touch her. I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the moment, but knowing it can’t last. “Premium tier is more about trust than transactions.” I open my eyes to the orange, yellow, and red autumnal colors. My heart beats calmly, more so than I could have imagined while next to Sam. She hurt me. My heart won’t deny it, but she also has this presence about her that makes me feel comfortable even if my heart isn’t safe with her anymore.