Page 64 of Dreaming Without Heartache

As her cries slow, I kiss the top of her head. “Baby, losing both your parents is the worst. You and Maisie didn’t deserve this shit. If I could trade places with them, I would. In a split second. Bill was a great man. The best husband, dad, and the best brother-in-law I could have ever hoped for. Annie chose well. I loved him so much. I was proud to call him family. Then there’s Annie…” My throat tightens. “She wasn’t just your mom. She was my best friend. My anchor. The one who loved me unconditionally. The only one who I knew would always have my back no matter what. She was the best mom. When the universe took her from me, I didn’t think I could go on. Then I was brought back to life by you two girls. The two pieces of the most important person in my life. She and your dad live through you and Maisie. I see it in you both every single day, and it makes my heart smile. As long as I have you two, I have Annie and Bill.”

“Aunt Allie,” Kara says as she clings tightly to me, her head still against my chest. “The day the accident happened”—her voice trembles—“Mom and I got into this stupid fight. I said something awful. It’s the last thing she ever heard, and I can’t forgive myself for it.”

My heart twists. “What did you say, sweetheart?” I continue holding her tightly against me, cherishing every moment I have with her. I need her and Maisie as much as they need me.

“I screamed at her.” She pulls back to look at me as she wipes her tear-streaked face. She’s furious with herself. “I told her I hated her, that I wished you were my mom.” She covers her eyes with her hands as she weeps furiously. “I love you, Aunt Allie. But I want my mom back.” Her bellows rip me apart.

“Oh, honey,” I say, pulling her back into my arms as my own tears fall. “Annie knew you loved her. She knew. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. Anger has a way of speaking for us when our heart hurts. Annie knew you didn’t mean it. I can promise you that. She loved you too deeply to think otherwise. She forgave you as soon as the words left your lips. I know she’s watching over you both right now.”

Kara sniffs as she catches her breath. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she whispers. “You were the best mom in the world, and I didn’t mean it. I’d give anything to have you back.”

Oh, my heart. I hold her tighter as the sunset spills gold and fire across the pond, the world stilling around us. I wish life wasn’t so harsh. Why do things like this happen to certain people while others never have to experience such tragedies?

As we sit embracing, a monarch butterfly drifts by, circling us once before landing gently on Kara’s knee. Neither of us dares to move. We just watch until it flutters away.

Kara looks up at me, eyes shining. “That felt like a sign.”

“I think it was.” I kiss her forehead, my heart full. “I have no doubt it was your mom saying she forgives you and loves you.”

Kara nods her head. I can see the lightness of the moment filling her.

“Ready to go home?” I ask.

“Yes.” She wraps her arms around me again. Thank you from above for the help today. I missed my girl. I think she missed herself as well.

Chapter Twenty-Four

I texted Sam, Judy, and Steven before we left the park to let them know that Kara is safe and we’re on our way home. Judy said she’d meet us at the house. I’m glad because we do need to talk about Kara moving back home.

“Aunt Allie?” Kara says quietly, a little hesitant, from the passenger seat beside me. I sure do love seeing her there again.

“What is it, honey?” I glance her way as we turn into our neighborhood.

“I have a confession.” She chews nervously on the edge of her finger. I wait, letting her find her courage. “I told Sam that you had women sleep over all the time. Especially that redhead, the one you bought the house from. I’m really sorry. I just…I wanted to hurt you because I was hurting. You didn’t deserve that. I’m an awful person.”

“Hey.” I take her hand, making her look at me. “You are not an awful person. Don’t ever say that. Life hurts us sometimes, and we make bad choices when we’re lost. But you found your way back. That’s what matters. Thank you for telling me.” Her confession stings and explains a lot, but more than that, I’m proud of her honesty.

“Sam’s a good person,” Kara adds quickly. “Please don’t be mad at her because of my lie. I’m really sorry for messing things up so badly. That’s my fault, not hers.”

I squeeze her hand. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

When we pull into the driveway, I turn off the engine and look at her fully. “Forgiveness is a powerful thing, sweetheart. Without it, we hold on to pain that only weighs us down. I love you, Kara. I’m so glad to have you back where you belong.”

A tear slips down her cheek. She brushes it away. “I love you too. I’m happy to be home.”

Before anything else can be said, Maisie whips open the passenger door. “Kara!” she squeals. “Are you home to stay?”

“I am!” Kara hops out, scooping Maisie into her arms and twirling her until they’re both laughing breathlessly.

Olivia rushes in for a hug while Steven, Luke, and Sam stand back watching with wide smiles. I catch Sam’s eye. There’s warmth there now, but I can still sense the ache underneath. Knowing what Kara told her, I now understand why she pulled away. She thought I was promiscuous. When she smiles at me, it takes all my self-control not to go to her and wrap her in my arms.

Steven and Sam decide it’s their turn to shower Kara with affection as they step in for hugs. I’ve not seen her smile like this in a long time. It’s as if the weight she’s been carrying has finally lifted, leaving behind a lightness she’d forgotten existed in her.

Judy’s car pulls in. She steps out slowly, her eyes fixed on Kara. The air tightens with tension as she walks up to her. Kara stiffens as if terrified. I see now that being with Judy isn’t the life for my niece. Even if she has helped Kara open her eyes, you shouldn’t be scared of the person who is to comfort and protect you.

Judy startles everyone when she pulls Kara into a tight embrace. Maisie quickly joins in, throwing her little arms as far around the two as possible. I smile, for the first time today after the news she was missing, knowing Kara’s back home safely.

“Let’s get your things,” Judy says, pulling back from the hug.