Page 32 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

“Yeah, you’re not so lucky.” I unlocked the door, flipped on the lights, and set my things on my desk, careful that my gradebook was face down.

Mario stopped in front of me before I could catch my breath. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you why I got a D on my paper.”

“Come talk to me after class. I’ll be happy to give you tips on how to rewrite it.”

Latrice snorted from the front row. “I’m the one who should be asking why I got an A on mine.”

I felt fairly useless that day; my mind was wandering. I had no idea what I should ask Maudie to do. I’d never dated someone I knew nothing about before. My mouth went on about persuasive writing and my hand went along with it, scribbling on the whiteboard, but my brain tried to picture what kind of restaurant Maudie would like to go to or what kind of movie she might like to see. I finished my first class, talked with Mario and Eliza, and taught my second class. I was putting my things together when Terri poked her head into my room.

“Vera has your new parking sticker.”

“Thanks.” I caught up with Terri and started down the hall to Vera’s office. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine. Saw you talking to Maudie Simms this morning.”

This really was straight out of middle school. “Sure. I was.”

“How come?”

I almost made something up, but I said it just as we entered Vera’s office. “We’re going out Friday.”

Terri’s eyes went huge. “On a date?”

Vera handed me my sticker. “Who’s the lucky woman?”

“Maudie Simms,” Terri said.

Vera looked surprised. “Well, nice!”

I hung nervously in the doorway. “How well do you guys know her? I mean, I really don’t know her very well and I don’t know what we should do.”

Terri and Vera looked at one another for so long I knew I must have said something wrong. “Ask her to pick a restaurant,” Vera suggested.

I couldn’t stand their awkward, almost conspiratorial looks. “You guys. What am I missing?”

Vera’s glance had dropped south. “Hmm.”

“You don’t think they’re big enough?” Terri asked.

“I’m not so sure,” Vera said.

Terri nodded decisively. “I think they’re big enough.”

They were staring at my breasts. “Wait, excuse me?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Vera said. “You’re quite lovely. Maudie just has…well…”

Terri sighed and rolled her eyes. At least she wasn’t staring at my chest anymore. “It’s a little bit of a fetish, that’s all.”

Most of the lesbians I knew liked boobs, and I certainly would not have called that a fetish. I personally liked boobs a lot. Before I could say anything more, Vera cleared her throat. “It’s a nursing fetish.”

I closed my eyes. “Why do you know this?”

“She used to date Melanie Rogers,” Terri said. “You know, Melanie?” She made a gesture about a foot away from her own breasts. “Melanie talks.”

“Enough, guys.” I felt bad talking behind Maudie’s back and was sick of people checking me out.

“I think you’ll have a nice date,” Terri said. Her grin was teasing and I didn’t like it one bit.