Page 37 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

I found myself driving up Lisa’s street on the way home. It really wasn’t that late, and I thought maybe we could hang out for a little while. Her car was in the drive, but the outside light was off and it was dark inside. I wondered if it was worth knocking to see if she was up, just in one of the back rooms, but I convinced myself to go home. Even after being with Maudie all evening, I missed Lisa.

Chapter Ten

I spent most of the night worrying about what to do about Maudie. She was sweet, really, but she was just, well, boring. And really not my type. We truly had nothing in common other than we both happened to teach at the college. And beyond that, my neck was swollen.

I wasn’t good at letting people down. I was lying in bed at eight in the morning, thinking that maybe we should have a second date, not at her house, then I could break things off. My phone vibrated with a text.

Good morning, hon!

It was from her. I cringed and tried to think of a response that wouldn’t seem too excited, but wasn’t rude either. I finally went with good morning! I figured the exclamation point made it less generic.

So I was up most of last night reflecting on our date.

I didn’t want to admit I had been, too, but she was typing again so I didn’t respond.

It was nice, really nice, and you’re a lovely person, but I just don’t see a future for us.

I felt my eyebrows jump. I was at once relieved and a little shocked. The last thing I thought about on a first date was a long-term relationship. Yes, I said. I agree. I had a really wonderful time, but we just don’t seem to have much in common.

Nothing. I started to get a bit nervous, but she responded in a moment with an emoji that looked like it was sweating. Oh I’m glad it’s not just me. I was so afraid to hurt your feelings.

No worries at all. How about some time you come to a football game with Vera and Terri and me? We sometimes go out to eat afterward.

Oh, I might pass on football ha-ha. But maybe dinner sometime. Well, I’m getting ready for church. I hope you have a nice day. It’s beautiful out!

Yes. Thanks for the text!

It took a while for me to process all of that. While I was glad I was off the hook, I’d never been dumped quite so quickly and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Did this have to do with my boobs? It had taken her a while to respond when I said we had nothing in common. What if this was just because I somehow had substandard boobs? Ugh, shut up and be grateful. I didn’t ever want to eat tofu again.

I sat over at Lisa’s that night. She invited Ollie, too, but I decided it would be weird to let him out into someone else’s backyard. Her living room was set up similarly to mine; the houses in our neighborhood had all been built around the same time and had many similar features and designs. It was painted off-white instead of tan like mine so it felt a little more roomy, and she had the blinds open to the evening sky. She sat on her sofa and I sat on a recliner with my feet up.

I’d been writing again, writing for real like the other night. It felt great and I liked it when I read it back and it made me so happy. I looked over at Lisa and watched her do some hand motions, mouthing to herself. It was at least as cute as the other day. She scribbled something in her notebook and consulted the ceiling, one hand still going as if she was speaking in sign language.

I pondered whether I could use some of the awkwardness of the last evening in my writing if I changed names and some key identifiers. “Do you think I have big boobs?”

Lisa’s hands stopped, mid-motion. “What?”

“Do you think I have big boobs?”

“Yes, what I thought you said.” Lisa cocked her head to one side and considered them. “They’re not as big as mine, but that’s frankly lucky for you. How come?”

I stopped myself from saying I knew they weren’t. I’d been partial to Lisa’s breasts since the first time I saw her. I shook my head and turned back to my screen. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”

“I wouldn’t call them small by any standards. They’re quite nice, actually. And either perky for forty-five or whatever you are or you have a good bra.”

I tried to glare but I couldn’t conjure one. “Forty-five or whatever I am.”

“You don’t look it, I just did the math.”

I didn’t remember ever discussing something that would give her math to do, but I supposed early on I could have said something. I made a mental note to check Wikipedia later on.

“Does this have something to do with your date last night?”

“It might.”

Lisa reached over and nudged my leg. “Turd. You’re not going to tell me, are you.”

I shrugged. “We’re not compatible.”