Page 69 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

I looked back at Mom, who looked pleased with herself. I buried back in my notes again so as not to obsess about Jackson.

“My father, John, grew up in central Minnesota, the son of a farmer and a teacher. He had one younger brother, who passed away as a child. He joined the Air Force after high school, and was stationed in Illinois. After leaving the military and attending college, he took a position with the Franklin County Schools teaching chemistry. He met my mother his first year in town, through their mutual friend Gordon Lansky. Hi, Gordon.” Gordon held up his hand and got a smattering of applause. “A year later, they were married at First Pres. I’ve put together some photos from their years together for you to enjoy.”

I’d never been so glad to sit down. I’d taught large classes before, but I always felt like I knew what I was talking about and that I wasn’t being judged. Now, my mother was wearing a slightly confused look, like is that it? My father, though, had a huge grin on his face. He tugged on her sleeve and pointed to the screen.

After the slide show, Kevin spoke, remembering family vacations and mishaps and good times. Gordon Lansky took the microphone and talked about introducing my parents in a way that told me he’d had quite a bit to drink. Finally, Sally Bynum, one of the women my mother worked with at church, told everyone what a loving and exemplary Christian couple my parents were. How they were always selflessly there for anyone in need, how they tirelessly supported their children, how they were such pillars of the community.

Well, that was what my mother wanted me to have said. I got it right away. Kevin had come a little closer, but I could tell that if Sally hadn’t spoken, we would have been in for it. Those things mostly described my father, although I knew he would disagree that he was important enough to be a pillar of the community. They did not describe my mother, though, and I wasn’t about to lie. I’d lied enough. I was lying enough that very night. I’d done plenty of work putting the slideshow together, and people liked it, so I held my head up defiantly and wondered when the evening could be over.

It felt just like a wedding reception. There were gifts and cake, although that was just several large sheets from the grocery store with “Congratulations Helen and John” written in blue icing. Then, the praise band from church started in.

I was not a fan. They were the youth pastor’s garage band and did an evening show twice a month in the church reception hall. They were not terrible, but they weren’t good, either. Mom and Dad had finished cutting the cake, so they took to the dance floor even though I knew Dad wanted to absolutely die. I suspected he hadn’t danced since their wedding.

I got to sit for quite a while. Gerald and Kevin talked about football and I gave Jeremiah a bottle while Missy dealt with the other kids. I was jealous that they would be able to make their official exit soon in the name of putting the little ones to bed. It felt like it must be getting late, but there was no clock in the room and it seemed rude to get out my phone, especially since it would take some juggling what with the baby on my lap.

I’d just finished eating cake while snuggling Jeremiah to my shoulder with my other arm when Gerald smiled at me. “Would you like to dance?”

No. “Oh, I have the baby,” I said.

Missy did the unthinkable. “Oh, I’ll take him! We’re about to leave anyway.”

I stared at her and considered kidnapping Jeremiah.

She got it. Her eyes went wide and she made vague motions suggesting I keep him, but it was too late. “Sorry,” she whispered as we transferred the sleeping baby to his car seat.

“It’ll be okay. Be careful on the way home.”

“Thanks. You’re staying through church, right?”

“I think I have to.”

“See you tomorrow morning, then.”

I turned back to Gerald, who was standing up, ready to go. “I don’t dance much,” I lied.

“Oh, I don’t dance hardly at all.”

I didn’t doubt that. The current song was something upbeat about taking up the sword of Jesus and winning a bloody battle. People around us were doing real steps, but I just sort of bopped around with Gerald since he was awkward at even that.

This lasted through another song, at which point the band played a ballad. I wondered if I could exit the dance floor, but Gerald held out his hand. Damn it. I took it and let him put his other hand lightly around my waist. I found my parents in the crowd, looking happy and flushed and like they were having a wonderful evening. I was glad. I hoped they wouldn’t notice us.

“I’m really having a good time,” Gerald said. “I’m glad you asked me tonight.”

My mother had made it sound like I was the one who asked him? I knew I had to continue the lie. “Well, I needed a plus-one and remembered that we had a nice time at Cami’s wedding.”

“Yeah, that was great, too.”

Silence again. It was weird dancing with someone so tall; both Lisa and Veronica were around my height and Gerald had to be at least six two, although he slouched awkwardly. The number was coming to an end and people were clapping a little. I was about to ask him about his lesbian friend to whom he was going to suggest my books when all at once his face was much closer to mine. I didn’t know how he did it save for some bizarre move like a giraffe sniffing a turtle. Before I could even process that, he kissed me on the mouth.

Oh shit. I pulled away abruptly and looked around us, daring anyone to react. A look of horror crossed Gerald’s face, like this was something that had happened to us rather than something he’d done himself. I moved through the crowd as quickly as possible, aiming for the door. And I bumped smack into Jackson Hardeman. “Excuse me.”

To my horror, he nodded and smiled. “I don’t know if you remember me but—”

“How fucking stupid do you think I am? Don’t even speak to me.”

His face went white and he said something vaguely guttural. We jockeyed for position and ended up stumbling over one another a second time.

“I will never forget what you did to me. Now unless you want me to grab the microphone and share that, you’ll get out of my way.”