Page 28 of Hated By the Gargoyle

“I’m sorry,” I muttered finally. “I shouldn’t have said that.” I tossed a pebble into the fire.

After a moment, Qanek said, “I, too, apologize for my crass words.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. About preferring death to being your wife.”

“And I did not mean that you have no self-respect.” The light of the fire reflected in his mismatched eyes.

“We can divorce,” I suggested.

“What is divorce?”

“It’s when two people who are married don’t want to be married anymore, so they break their marriage off and–”

“No,” he growled dangerously low.

“No?”

“Marriage is sacred,” he said. “It is not entered lightly, and the threads of fate wind us tightly together. It cannot be broken.”

I swallowed. I’d almost feared that would be his answer, and now I had it. I tried, feebly, to argue. “But we haven’t completed the ritual.”

“It does not matter.” He tossed a pebble into the fire and watched it burn. “We have completed many important steps already. We are married in the eyes of my culture.” He looked at me. “We are tied.”

I wanted to groan, but forced myself to look away from him instead. He was so intense. Too intense, and looking at the truth of my actions hurt.

I scraped my finger into the dirt.

“You’ll resent me, eventually,” I whispered, hating how weak the confession made me sound. “If we stay together, you will hate me. You will always wonder what could have been your life with someone else. You will look at me and you’ll hate me because I’m not who you want. And what will our ‘marriage’ be then, huh? Nothing but hatred and resentment.”

He didn’t speak. I knew it, an ugly part of me said. He didn’t even have an argument to disprove my words because they were true and we both knew it.

“I do not pretend to understand what the future will hold,” Qanek said. He placed his hand on the earth, dangerously close to mine, his claw touching my pinky. “I do not know what I will feel. But I know myself, feral creature. I know that I respect the bonds of marriage and that I will dedicate my life to the woman I call ‘wife’. I will give you a home and a nest. I will give you sustenance and respect. I will give you protection and all of me and all that I have to offer.” His claw looped through my pinky and held.

I didn’t pull away, but I was sure he could feel the pulse beating wildly inside me at the brief contact alone.

“Those are heavy promises, Qanek.”

“Promises I mean to keep.”

I huffed a laugh. He was so serious, it was hard to even think he was lying. Because, what if he wasn’t?

This was real to him.

Whatever this was.

But I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t think I ever could be.

“My parents promised they would be with me forever.” The tears slipped from my eyes. I turned away, wiping them off with my shoulder. Too late, Qanek’s attention was already on the streaks they’d surely left behind. “But then they died and they left me all alone in the world.”

His claw tightened around my skin.

“Everybody always leaves me, Qanek. I have nobody.”

He stared at me, and it was like he was seeing me for the first time. And in his gaze, there was understanding.

Perhaps he really did know what this hollowness in my chest felt like.