Page 52 of Knot Broken

“A psychologist?” I blinked. “Oh, I have a therapist. Do you want her number? I could give her permission to talk to you about me so you can get what you need.”

Her lips pressed together, then she looked down at me as her hand went to my shoulder.

“I know this must seem very invasive, but the lawyers insisted that we screen people with our own staff. If people have preexisting psychological vulnerabilities, we need to know about them. We’re about to push you in ways you haven’t been pushed before and the psychology team helps ensure we don’t go too hard.”

And that was how I ended up walking into a very nice office. Walls painted in a soft grey green. Check. Qualifications in frames on the walls. Check. A comfy chair and a big plush couch. Check and check. Looked like every other therapist’s office I’d been in. An older woman looked up from her laptop and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Kayla,” she said, holding out a hand for me to shake. I did so, introducing myself, then sitting down in the chair she gestured to. “So, you’re our latest latent omega?”

“Got the details already?” I asked, folding my hands in my lap. “Might make this session a whole lot shorter.”

“No details other than you and…” She peered at her screen. “Three alphas are being admitted.”

“That should be two,” I replied, gesturing at the screen she was reading. “Ethan’s here for testing and that’s it.”

“An alpha that’s not trying to win you over.” The woman sat back in her chair. “Tell me about that.”

“OK.” That same restless feeling started up again, making me want to get to my feet and start pacing, preferably right out the front door. The only way I could suppress it was to grab at the arms of the chair, something the therapist noted. “So I met the three of them when I went to attend a session with a sexual surrogate.” Her eyebrows shot upwards. “I thought they were the therapists and…”

I settled in and filled the therapist in on the details.

“Well.” Kayla smiled and shook her head. “That’s going to be a very interesting story to tell people at dinner parties. If you decide to accept the bond, that is. So, this is obviously completely unexpected. Less then twenty-four hours ago, you thought you were a beta. How do you feel about the change in designation?”

“I’m still processing,” I replied with a sigh. “Like it's a lot, but at least I’m doing that in a world-class facility.” With a glance around the room, I smiled. “With people who are leaders in the field of latency, and it means I get a few weeks off work.”

“You’re definitely seeing the upside. That’s good.” The part of me that loved getting praise from teachers had me sitting taller in my seat. “But…” Not that, I thought furiously, that restless feeling growing markedly more intense. “That doesn’t tell me how you’re feeling.”

But I had my response prepared. As we walked over to the psychologist’s office, I’d mentally rehearsed what I’d say. Focus on the positives, stuff down the fear, the worries that rose like ghosts summoned by her words.

The anger.

For a white-hot minute, I felt a blaze of it tear through me, stealing my breath away for just a second. I steadied myself in seconds, breathing returning to normal.

“This sucks.” Shit, my voice cracked on that. I swallowed hard, then smiled again, but why did the air play over my teeth, making them feel strange? “That goes without saying.”

“Does it?” Kayla’s expression was still sympathetic, but was there a gleam in her eye now? She leaned forward slightly, and for just a second, it felt like I noticed everything at once. The canned air of the office. The faint tinkle of the music coming through the speakers. Even the way the fabric of the chair I was sitting in felt a little coarse against my palms. “Humour me and tell me how it sucks.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Did my voice get a little deeper? I shook my head and continued. “This… wasn’t what I asked for. Everything was supposed to be just a bit of fun and now it’s not.” My eyes dropped to the floor. “It’s really not.”

Silence stretched on, requesting, then demanding I speak, but I didn’t. Somehow that felt impossibly rude, and still my mouth remained closed. My tongue flicked over my teeth, then retracted abruptly when I found the sharp tip of one canine. Hand shaking, I touched my lips and then my teeth to find fangs.

“Right.” Kayla had gone very pale, and the room was filled with the stink of singed hair. “Let’s take a moment and do a quick visualisation exercise. Close your eyes.” I did as she said without thought. “Take a deep breath and imagine a sunny meadow. The grass is long and filled with wildflowers. Look down and focus on the shapes, the colours, of each one.”

But that’s not what happened.

Breath in and my heart was pumping as I ran across the moonlit plain, my claws digging into the soil. Breath out and with it came the night air, the stars, the moon, everything. Wind in my fur. The power of my haunches. The harsh sounds of my pants filling my ears, getting louder and louder.

Only to be drowned out by him.

“Nadia.” That sound had my paws stilling. We danced backwards at the appearance of this male, circling nervously. “Beautiful girl, you need to stay in skin for now. What’s inside you needs to come out, but you’re not ready yet.” The wolf’s ears pinned against our skull and our lips pulled back to reveal our fangs, but the growl that was building in our chest was kept down by his presence. He stepped forward, clad in a drape of swirling shadows and I could almost feel his caress, right before his hand landed on the back of my neck. “Nothing will hurt you while I live.” Thumb and finger rubbed at my ear. “Not even you.”

My eyes flicked open just in time to see the woman’s hand reaching for the call button on the wall. Kayla paused when she saw me take a more measured breath, then her focus shifted to where I’d managed to shred the fabric on the arms of my chair.

“I’m OK,” I said between breaths. “I’m OK.”

“I think we’ll leave the session here for now,” she said, fighting for composure but recovering fast. “But I’d like to see you again this week.”

I nodded, not bothering to book in an appointment. It wasn’t as if I had a busy week planned. Wandering out of the office and down the hall, I found all three alphas standing around, talking to Riley and her pack.