Page 80 of Hotter than Wildfire

This was it. After alerting the FBI, there would be no going back. She would be cutting Harry and his friends out of her life and she would break Harry’s heart.

But better to break his heart than be the cause of any more death.

After a moment’s hesitation, Ellen filled out the data page with her real name, without giving an address. Presumably they’d be able to track down her location using the IP address but by that time, she’d be at the office itself.

In the message field she stated that she had reason to believe that a government contractor, Gerald Montez, CEO of Bearclaw, had stolen money from the US government in Kabul and had killed three people.

Should she ask for an appointment? No, she decided. Better not to wait for a response. Better just to show up at their offices.

The address given was Aero Drive, in the northern part of the city. The site gave a photo of the façade of the building, a distinctive combination of white marble and dark glass shaped into a big dark Y shape. She’d recognize it when the cab pulled up.

The door opened and closed. Good. Nicole had gone to the bathroom down the hall. She complained about practically living in the bathroom now that she was pregnant. She’d be a while. When she came back, Ellen would slip out. Only instead of going to the bathroom, she’d keep on walking down the hall, into the elevator, into a cab, into the FBI office and into a new life.

A barren life, an empty life, but a life where everyone she cared for would be safe.

It would take a while for them to discover she was gone. By the time Nicole realized that Ellen was taking too much time in the bathroom, she’d be on her way to Aero Drive in a taxi.

She’d finished the spreadsheet program and she’d straightened out Nicole’s accounts, happy that she could leave her a little something, a little thank you for her friendship.

What could she leave Harry?

Her heart.

My dearest Harry, this is for the best and you know it. It’s a waiting game and time is on Gerald’s side. The more I wait, the more time he has to find me, the more we’ll all be worn down with worry, you included. Nothing happened to Nicole, but it could have. I could never live with myself if she’d been hurt or lost the baby and I think the same holds true for you.

I’m going to the FBI and ask for protection, so don’t worry about me. I should have done this a year ago, but instead I took the coward’s way out and ran. Yet maybe, as a new Age friend of mine would say, the Universe wanted me to be a coward because I got to meet you.

I love you, Harry. I love you so much I have to leave you, because I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt.

I don’t know what else to say.

Ellen

She sent him the email quickly before she lost her nerve and before she could break down. When she pressed the send button it was like pressing the button that detonated her heart.

Still, maybe there was some room for hope. Just a little. The FBI had huge resources. Maybe they could make a case against Gerald quickly. Put him away forever, dust their hands and tell her you’re free to go. It was possible, wasn’t it?

It was wishful thinking but oh, how appealing that thought was. A couple of months to make the case, Gerald tried and convicted fast. Ellen coming back to San Diego, stepping into Harry’s arms, able to live in the light once more, with him. She’d share her life with Harry and sing and keep everyone’s books.

Oh God. She shook with longing.

It wasn’t going to happen, but it could. That thought was going to have to sustain her in the dark months and maybe years ahead.

Harry would be furious, maybe never forgive her. Though she knew he cared for her, they’d only had a few days together. She knew she’d love him forever but maybe if it too a long time to put the case together and she came back in a year or two or three, he’d have moved on. He’d be crazy not to move on.

So that was another horrible scenario to conjure up. Coming back in a year or two, excited and hopeful. Harry going—don’t I know you? With a child in his arms and a pregnant wife by his side.

That thought actually hurt.

There was one other person she needed to contact. Kerry.

Would she be allowed a laptop while in the FBI’s care? Would they spy on her? Maybe they would.

She needed to contact Kerry beforehand, tell her she was all right, tell her not to worry. With all that had happened, she hadn’t checked their message board. Kerry would be frantic. Ellen had disappeared without a word and hadn’t been in touch since.

Right now Kerry didn’t know if Ellen was in enemy hands, sick or dying or dead.

A pang of shame shot through her. Kerry deserved better.