Page 150 of The Daddy’s Girl

He still doesn’t speak, not even when I clasp a hand on his arm. Not even when I turn my back on him and walk back toward the hotel where I’m staying.

I don’t hear from him all night, so I book myself a train ride back home.

As I sit on the train and think about everything that’s happened in the last month or even the last year, I realize that I’ve dragged my feet on so much change in my life. Even though retiring was my idea, I never truly accepted it.

When I started to develop feelings for Amelia, I resisted it.

When she presented me with a life and a future that sounded like a dream, I denied it.

What is holding me back? What is it that I truly want in this life?

And it’s remembering the night I walked her home that suddenly helps me to realize it—the night I told her about my childhood, growing up in Paris. The night I shared with her what made my mother so special.

It wasn’t money or fame or anything grand. It was the simple things. The magic in the little moments.

Suddenly, I see a future so clearly.

And I know exactly what I must do to get it.

Rule #43: Sometimes, you just can’t wait.

Amelia

Family dinner night prevails, even through a family crisis apparently. My dad is in London and still not really talking to me, so it’s just me and Mom with Julian’s family.

Freya is deep within the throes of wedding planning, and honestly watching her and Archer debate color schemes and food choices is a whole form of entertainment in itself. My brother is watching them and might as well have hearts for eyes.

I used to be disgusted by it all. Now I’m just…jealous.

Will we ever get to this point? Will my family ever come around to the idea of me and Matis enough to plan a wedding with me?

If there even is a wedding. The way he sounded on the phone today has me worried. Matis and I haven’t really defined what we are anymore since he left, and it makes me sick to think I could be losing him already.

I don’t want to come across as too needy, but I want him to feel how missed he is at the same time. What if he’s out and someone catches his eye? I trust him with my life, but what if seeing a glimpse of his old life makes him rethink his choice to commit to me?

Last month, Matis and I said we’d leave it up to fate, and so far…fate has decided nothing. I started my period shortly after we started having unprotected sex. Even though we’re not trying for a baby, the idea that the universe would keep us together when it feels like everything is trying to tear us apart would have been the sign we needed.

But we don’t need a sign.

We need to make a choice.

The fashion show is this weekend, and I feel so hesitant about it. The incubator program is still my dream…but so is he. Why must we feel the need to choose between love and career? Am I so wrong if I choose love? Because I would. I would choose it over and over again.

“Your dad will come around.” My mom keeps her voice low as she leans toward me.

I glance at her with a shrug. She must see the inner turmoil written all over my face—my future, Matis’s future, my dad’s reaction. It’s a lot to handle alone.

Not having my dad’s support is weighing on me so much more than I thought. And now with Matis gone, I’ve never felt crummier. What if this is how it is every time he leaves? How could I cope?

When my phone buzzes on the table, I pick it up and see Matis’s name on the screen. My chest warms and a smile plays on my lips as I swipe it open to see the photo he sent.

It’s a photo of Matis. A selfie of him, looking as handsome as ever. But when I see the Eiffel Tower shimmering behind him, my brow furrows. What is he sending me this for?

“What?” I murmur.

Quickly, I type out my response.

Amelia: Where are you?