Page 45 of The Daddy’s Girl

“You really want to see him again?” I ask. A touch of disappointment courses down my spine.

Looking a little forced, she shrugs. “I do.”

I heave a long sigh and run my hand over my chin, rough from missing today’s shave. “Fine, Trouble.”

With a squeal, Amelia claps her hands. Then she throws her arms around my waist, hugging me close. Shamelessly, I rest my chin on her head and hug her back.

“You’re the best, Matis.”

I have to force myself to swallow because I don’t feel like the best. Right now, with her warm body in my arms and forbidden thoughts traipsing through my mind, I feel like the worst.

Most nights, I prefer wine, but when necessary, I call on the more potent drinks to do the heavy lifting. And tonight is one of those nights. Standing in my kitchen with a glass of Macallan 34 in my hand, I do my best to calm the erratic buzzing deep within my bones.

Then, out of nowhere, my front door chimes.

Once again, I wasn’t expecting company, and I told Amelia I would be picking her up in an hour, so this sudden guest is a surprise.

Especially when I peer into the security screen and see my friend Ronan Kade standing by the front door.

“Merde,” I whisper to myself. Buzzing him in, I stand near my door and wait for him to ride the elevator up to my floor.

It’s not that I’ve been avoiding Ronan specifically—more so that I’ve been avoiding everyone, including him. But I also haven’t stood face-to-face with him since pleasuring myself to visions of his daughter. So I’m not quite sure how this interaction is going to feel.

When he steps off the elevator, he gives me a warm smile and a wave.

“I hope you don’t mind me just stopping by,” he says.

“You know I don’t. Come in.”

Stepping aside, I let Ronan into my apartment before leading him toward the bottle of whiskey on my counter.

“You must have heard me cracking this open,” I say as I pour him a glass.

“I have a sense about these things.”

We both chuckle, clinking our glasses together and taking a sip. My eyes hover on his face, and I’m pleasantly surprised to find I don’t feel much different around him now. Granted, I’ve felt generally low about the recent fantasies playing in my mind, but being around Ronan doesn’t make me feel any worse.

“You’ve been a stranger lately,” he says as he takes a seat on one of the stools across from me. “I just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

Leaning back against the counter, I let out a sigh. “Can I be honest with you?”

He nods. “Of course.”

When I open my mouth to spill my guts to my best friend, naturally it’s not about lascivious thoughts or forbidden desires. It’s about something that has been weighing on me for a while. Something I never felt ready to say out loud until now.

“I sometimes regret giving it up.”

Slowly, he nods. Because if I know anything about Ronan, I know he understands the torment of retiring.

“I was afraid of that,” he mumbles.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I’m happy for the younger generation who own it now, but retirement is meant for those who want to live a life beyond their careers, and that was never me.”

“I know.”

“That club was my life, Ronan.” It feels as if a weight is lifted the moment those words leave my lips. How long have I been harboring this secret? Why was I so ashamed to admit my mistake of letting it go too early?

“I’m sorry,” he says with sincerity, looking into my eyes like a true friend.