Page 106 of Tracking Wolfe

I took a breath, swallowed, and dove. “I’m in love with your son.”

Derek’s open expression shuttered. For a split second, I envisioned being tossed out of the plane without a parachute.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

“And he’s in love with me,” I continued, clearing my throat. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to be with him.”

Jude turned to look at Derek, as if wondering what was going on or if Derek already knew about this. From the stone-still look on Derek’s face, Jude must have been able to tell it was just as much a surprise to him as it was to Jude.

Jude looked back at me. “Are you talking about Wolfe or Lennon?”

Derek let out a humorless snort. “Baby. He means Wolfe.”

Jude threw up his free hand. “How am I supposed to know? They don’t even live in the same city. Lennon’s the one who lives in Legacy.”

“Wolfe,” I said, fighting the urge to let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve been half in love with him for six years, if I’m being honest. But I refused to let anything come of it until now. I need you to know I fought it really fucking hard. And I just can’t do it anymore. He’s… he’s mine. He’s meant to be mine.”

Jude’s expression softened, and his eyes got a little shiny before he turned back to his husband. Derek bit out a curse. “Goddammit, Bluebell. Don’t point those things at me. This is serious.”

Jude turned back to me with a tremulous smile. “I think that’s amazing.”

“You do?” I squawked.

He nodded. “He deserves the best. You know we think you’re the best.”

Derek grunted. “Trace is a hundred and fifty years old, Jude.”

“I’m forty-six, asshole,” I muttered, rubbing my face with both hands now that I knew Jude wouldn’t let Derek murder me.

“Same difference.”

I glared at him. “Don’t you think I know Wolfe deserves better? Deserves someone his own age? God, why do you think I fought this as hard as I did? But Wolfe is… he’s everything. He understands me. He makes me laugh. He softens all my hard edges and lights up all the dark places inside me. I’d burn the world to keep him safe, except I know his sweet heart would hate that, so I couldn’t. And I want to make sure that he has every fucking thing his heart desires, but one of those things is—” My voice cracked. “One of those things is me. So I can’t make myself stay away from him. I won’t. And I really hope you can come to terms with it.”

Derek’s eyes pinned me to my seat. “This why you left San Francisco and went to Montana six years ago? God knows we’d been offering you funding to start SERA for years.”

Jude’s mouth opened in surprise as I nodded.

“I found out Wolfe had feelings for me. I thought it was a crush. I thought he’d get over it. But I started thinking about him… differently.” I wasn’t about to say sexually, but they could tell that’s what I meant. “I didn’t want to lead him on, so I decided it would be easier for both of us if I was far away.”

Jude asked, “Then what happened? Does this have something to do with why Wolfe took off?”

Derek’s expression darkened, but I ignored it for now. I knew Derek was fiercely protective of his family, and I’d always respected that.

I cleared my throat. “It wasn’t the only reason, but partly, yes.” I was walking a fine line, trying to protect Wolfe’s privacy but also explain. “We had a disagreement.” I pulled a face. “I was an ass, to be honest. Still trying to fight what I was feeling. I went into the backcountry on back-to-back sessions with SERA, so I didn’t know how upset he was. I didn’t know he was gone until you called me⁠—”

“Shoulda called someone else,” Derek muttered.

Jude nudged his shoulder. “Bullshit. You know there’s no one better at finding Wolfe than Trace because they understand each other. Now, shut up and let him finish.”

“I promise I never had a single inappropriate thought about him until six years ago,” I said quickly. Because I needed them not to think the worst of me.

Jude rolled his eyes. “Of course not. Jesus, Trace.”

Derek gave a slight nod of agreement before saying, “Continue.”

“When I found him in Colorado, we talked. And this time, I actually listened. I realized that staying away from him wasn’t protecting him; it was just hurting both of us. He’s it for me, Derek. And for a while now, I’ve been it for him, too. Now that we’ve both acknowledged it, we can’t go back to the way things were. I’m sorry.”

“If he’s it for you, then where the fuck is he?” Derek made a comical effort to look around us in the close cabin of the private jet.