Page 28 of One Waltz with the Viscount

‘I know. You are too unassuming and kind to think of it, but if I were a true gentleman I would be proposing to you.’

‘I understand you do not want someone like me as a wife.’

He paused, wondering what to say. In many ways she was right. He had resigned himself to marrying again, but only to mend the rift that had come about from his choice of first wife. It would do nothing to mollify his father, or secure him a position back in his sister’s life, if he rushed into marriage with someone not from the aristocracy. What was more, he didn’t actually want a wife. He had thought himself in love once, and had been willing to give up everything he is for his wife, but it had been a total disaster of a marriage.

‘I do not want a wife,’ he said, deciding honesty was the only way he would have a chance of making Miss Shepherd understand.

‘Yet you are scouring London for one.’ She sighed and waved a hand. ‘I do not want a proposal, my lord.’ He thought of the night before, when she had called him by his given name, and for one mad moment he almost asked her to do so again. Quickly he caught himself.

‘Will you sit with me a moment?’ he asked, indicating one of the benches that lined the north bank of the river.

‘Should we not make haste?’

‘Mr Peterson will linger the whole afternoon if the rumours are to be believed.’

She perched on the edge of the bench, looking out over the river. Her face was pale, but she had two spots of colour on her cheeks.

‘Would you indulge me whilst I told you about my wife, my first wife?’

‘You do not need to...’

‘I would like to.’

She inclined her head, waiting for him to speak. Henry tried to summon the words, his throat instantly dry, his tongue thick and heavy.

‘I met Anne one cold winter’s evening when I was walking home from a dinner party. It had been filled with beautiful, wealthy people, talking loudly and eating to excess.’

‘I sense that irritated you,’ Miss Shepherd said quietly, with a hint of a smile.

‘It did. It didn’t help that my father was also present, and pressing me to propose to one of the eligible young ladies.’

‘Much like he is now.’

‘Indeed. I was walking home and I saw a young woman slip on some ice. She fell into the road and a carriage came trundling round the corner. I do not think the coachman saw her and she was winded from the fall, unable to move.’ He closed his eyes for a moment, that night still so vivid in his mind. ‘I ran forward and pulled her from the road just in time, and we collapsed onto the pavement together.’

‘The woman who became your wife?’

‘Yes, it was Anne. She was in shock, so I walked her home and ensured she was safe before leaving, then the next day I returned to check she had recovered.’ He paused, finding it hard to explain quite how he had fallen in love. ‘We went for a walk together, in the park, and talked. It was refreshing to speak to someone about the real world, and their hopes and dreams, instead of discussing the price of silk and who was the best artist to commission for a new portrait. We talked for hours, and when I walked her home I asked if I could see her again.’

‘She must have been a very special young woman,’ Miss Shepherd said, and Henry thought he heard a hint of sadness in her voice, but when he looked up she was smiling at him softly.

‘I became infatuated. I was only young, but already disillusioned with the world I had been born into, frustrated by the path my life had to follow. I wanted to make my own way in the world, but at every turn there was my father, trying to dictate how I should live my life.’ He shook his head. ‘I realise I sound like a spoilt child, and in many ways I was. I didn’t appreciate the privileged upbringing I had. All I could think of was rebelling against it.’

‘Wealth is not the only thing that makes for a happy childhood.’

‘Indeed. I was infatuated with Anne and I thought she felt the same. I proposed to her within a few weeks of meeting her and she accepted. My father was furious, of course. He told me he would cut me off entirely if I went through with the wedding. I had a little income from the property I’d renovated, and over time I invested it and bought another, but we had to live a modest life. Even my friends were wary—they tried to warn me how difficult our union would be, that we would be shunned by society, and I would not be able to lead the same life as all my peers.’

‘And yet, you went ahead anyway.’

‘I thought all that wasn’t important, not when the alternative was losing my true love.’

Miss Shepherd was looking at him with interest now, invested in his story. It wasn’t one he told often. Of course, his close friends knew most of what had occurred, but there were some parts he still felt too ashamed to discuss.

‘We were married in a small ceremony with just a couple of witnesses.’ He shook his head at the memory, unable to believe he had been so naïve. ‘I thought it was the start of the rest of our lives together.’

‘It wasn’t?’

He grimaced. ‘I had explained to Anne that my father would cut us off, that we would have to live on a small income, in a modest fashion, but I don’t think she really believed me. She did not know my father, and thought once he had got over his initial anger and disappointment he would come round.’