Page 39 of One Waltz with the Viscount

‘Not directly? So you do blame me a little?’

Miss Shepherd regarded him in a manner that reminded him of one of his governesses when he was a young boy. Each morning she would rouse him from bed and immediately ask him to recite the kings and queens of England from the past five hundred years. As he spoke she would regard him over the top of her glasses, pushing them up her nose with a tut of disappointment every time he got one wrong.

‘I would not know Lady Shrewsbury if it were not for you.’

‘That is not true. You climbed into her library well before we became acquainted.’

‘A few seconds before we became acquainted, although I concede that you are correct. Except I probably would never have actually met the Countess. I would have found Agnes Pepper, asked her my questions and been on my way.’

‘Or you might have been caught and escorted to gaol where you would still be rotting, awaiting trial.’ He shook his head. ‘I digress. I am sorry you were pressed into coming here.’

Miss Shepherd was quiet, regarding him thoughtfully.

‘I suppose you know Lady Shrewsbury is in love with you.’

Henry appreciated the directness of her words, even if he wished she had not uttered them. There would be no delicate skirting around the subject until they finally found the words to speak in metaphors and suppositions.

‘I have known Lord Shrewsbury for a long time,’ he said quietly. ‘We were friends from the first day at school, two scared young boys forced to grow up quickly in a hostile environment. He inherited his title and all the land and properties that went with it when he was twenty-one. He told me, one day soon after, sitting in the huge chair that had once been his father’s, that he would always be there for me. Of course, he knew of my problems with my father and he wanted me to know that, however I chose to deal with them, I would have a powerful ally.’

Miss Shepherd sat with a straight back, her hands folded in her lap, listening to him with her full attention.

‘Over the years he has done more for me than anyone else, and although his family life is a little more straightforward, I have been there through every bereavement, every period of mourning.’

‘He’s like the brother you never had.’

‘Yes. About seven years ago we both decided it was time to stop our youthful fooling around and think about settling down. We swapped the late-night card games for more respectable balls and dinner parties. That was when we met Lady Shrewsbury, Louisa.’ He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed about the story, but needing to explain the history, so she would understand a little better the relationship between all of them. ‘Shrewsbury fell head over heels in love with her. She was pretty and accomplished and the perfect woman to become a Countess.’

‘But she set her sights on you.’

He nodded, remembering back to the awkward moment he had realised the woman his closest friend loved wanted him to propose instead.

‘I liked her, but there was no way I could ever allow any romantic feelings to develop, not knowing how Shrewsbury felt about her.’

‘That is very noble.’

‘It didn’t feel noble at the time. After a few weeks of this awful awkwardness, I told her I could never consider anything more than a friendship between us.’

‘How did she take it?’

He thought back, remembering her serious expression, the tears in her eyes.

‘She was upset, but she said she understood. She disappeared for the rest of the season, and I assumed she had set her sights elsewhere. The next year I was a little distracted, as that was when I met Anne. I barely paid any attention to what was going on outside of my own infatuation, but suddenly Shrewsbury and Louisa announced they were engaged. I was ecstatic for my friend, although at first wary of Louisa.’

‘You thought she might still harbour feelings for you?’

With a rueful smile he shrugged. ‘That sounds rather conceited, does it not?’

‘It would be a legitimate concern to have.’

‘One evening Louisa took me to one side and told me how happy she was. She apologised for her behaviour the previous season, for acting like a lovesick pup, and assured me of her affection for Lord Shrewsbury. She said she knew how much our friendship meant to him, and she hoped one day we would have a similar relationship.’

‘So they married.’

‘And they have been very happy.’

‘But...’

He sighed. He wasn’t entirely sure when he had realised his friend’s wife was in love with him. It certainly hadn’t been whilst he was married—he had been too distracted by his own troubles. Or when Lord and Lady Shrewsbury had collected him after the fire that had killed Anne and destroyed his main source of income. It had been later than that, when the fog of grief and shock had finally started to clear, that he had sometimes caught her looking at him with a wistfulness in her eyes.