Page 98 of True Colors

After all, as the cliché goes, the buck stops with me.

Martin glances around. “So, where is Ms. Starling?”

“Mr. Ericksen,” Erin begins smoothly, “Anouk wasn’t feeling well and⁠—”

“Anouk was asked not to present,” I cut in.

Nope. We’re not going to lie. That shit isn’t happening. I’ve sacrificed enough of my integrity in the name of my career, not gonna add to it with blatant mendacity.

“Why?” Martin asks, genuinely perplexed.

“There were reasons,” I say, owning my fuck up. “I’d like to discuss them with you after the meeting.”

Neither of them presses. They’re seasoned leaders. They’ll trust me to tell them how and why this presentation, the one I prepared so hard for, got so derailed.

Well, Luther, at least you got to see the catastrophe. Anouk didn’t even have that because Erin decided to be the bitch you know she is.

The rest of the meeting limps along.

Vijay and I patch holes Erin can’t explain. Questions go unanswered. Promises are made to follow up.

My father thanks everyone politely at the end. I recognize disappointment on his face instantly. I’ve known it my whole life.

People file out quietly.

I stop Dot before she leaves. “I didn’t disinvite her.”

“That’s true.” Dot crosses her arms. Yeah, she’s not going to forgive me for this. “But you gave Erin the space to do it. And that’s on you.”

She walks away.

I remain standing, staring at the empty chair where Anouk should have been.

I see it now.

The arrogance in thinking I could manage perception instead of trusting the truth—the cowardice in choosing comfort over conviction.

Anouk should have been here. She would have answered every question—stutter and all. She would’ve done a great job—stutter and all.

I know that now.

What do they say about twenty-twenty hindsight?

Luther, they say that you’re an idiot to have not had the foresight.

CHAPTER 23

Anouk

Iwake up the day of the meeting, the one I was deemed not even good enough to attend, and stare at the ceiling.

I didn’t sleep well. That doesn’t surprise me. Heartbreak and rest don’t go well together.

I have some decisions to make. Small ones. Just for today. I can go to work, to a place that treated me like shit, or I can take the day off. The latter feels like weakness, like running away.

Anouk, you got hurt. You are still hurting. It’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to run away for a moment and heal.

I sit up and reach for my phone.