Page 10 of Delirium 2

I stood with my hands clasped in front of me, eyes locked on Stubbs’s listening to his screams. When I fell asleep tonight, with the look of his eyes in my mind, his screams would reside there too. And when I did finally close my eyes to rest, it would be with a smile on my face because I’d won. I loved winning. Nothing gave me more satisfaction than that. Not even pussy.

“Pl—please,” he pled. “I—I’m sorry. It—it was her idea, bro. I swear to God. We—we needed pape for moms’ funeral and⁠—”

“Ask God for forgiveness,” I interrupted.

“Huh—”

“God. Seek forgiveness,” I said, clenching down on my teeth. “Don’t waste precious time on begging. Talk to God.”

Because his words were falling on deaf ears. I didn’t have shit for him. Stubbs’ was dead the minute the thought to get off on me crossed his mind. I was sure something told him to pivot. I was sure that there was a little voice in the back of his mind that told him to go the other way. Something that told him to do something safer. Like hold a fundraiser, call a couple of churches. Solo was generous—he would’ve helped him. And if not Solo, maybe James down at God’s Temple down on Burt Rd. Church might’ve been on the smaller side, but they would’ve looked out just because it was them they went to and not Solo’s church. Hell yeah, mafuckas were in competition. How that work though? People of faith, moving like that.

Look at me though.

There wasn’t a perfect soul out this bitch and with that God was perfectly okay.

“Pick a nut,” I said through gritted teeth, inching in closer to Stubbs.

“Wha—what?”

“Pick. A. Nut,” I repeated, before turning a bit, signaling for Jada to step forward.

She hesitated but she joined me.

“I want you to pick, baby doll. Since he can’t seem to,” I said, wearing a smirk.

“Huh?”

Mafuckas were deaf today, huh? I turned and faced her. “J.”

“What?” She asked, timid.

“Pick a fuckin’ nut,” I told her.

Her shoulder raised and fell. “I don’t want to, Exodus.”

I stood behind her and leaned in closer to her ear. Lifting my hand, I handed her the scalpel. “Pick a nut for me, gorgeous.”

Delicately, I kissed the side of her face. The side with the scar on it, to remind her of what they’d done. Trembling again, she took the scalpel from my hand.

I gripped her hand, steadying it. Locking eyes with her, I said, “Listen. Don’t overthink it. Pick a nut and be good with it. Move swiftly. You got it.” I let her hand go, leveling it with his nuts.

Her eyes filled with tears. “But X… I don’t want to.”

I clenched down on my teeth, nostrils flaring. “I don’t give a fuck. Do what you gotta do before I string yo’ ass up there with them.”

Her eyes widened. “Wha⁠—

I flicked the tip of my nose. “You know how I feel about repeating myself, baby doll.” Lightly, I gave her a shove, and she stumbled a little forward. She looked between me and Stubbs, scared.

I stepped back, crossed my arms over my chest and waited. I didn’t lie. I would string her dumb ass up there with them. Jada inconvenienced me. I hated inconveniences. Shit blew me for real. I would string her up there, cut her limb from limb and sleep peacefully tonight. Why? Because Big G gave me the green light, of course. There were no limits. No morals. No heart. No conscience.

I didn’t want Jada to think for one second that we were here out of love. This was about control. This was about delivering a message. Not just to British and Stubbs, but to her dumb ass too. More for her than it was for them. Because soon, they would be the dearly departed. Jada was lucky I was blessing her with the ability to live after this. I lost sleep. I used resources. I put my life on the line. My freedom. That came with a hefty price tag. She just didn't know it. Not before today she didn’t. I prayed to God she understood now. I prayed to God she knew how serious I was about what I told her. Sit down. Chill. Stay out of the fuckin’ city. She’d been moving too fuckin’ sloppy and goofy for me lately. I was sick and tired of it.

Stubbs squirmed. Tried to free himself from the chains but it was to no avail. He was stuck. Helpless. Mine. At my mercy. At Jada’s for the moment. But… he belonged to me. Every part of him. The minute he made the dumb decision to cross me, it was up. He was owned. His life mine to do with what I pleased.

It took her a minute, but Jada eventually picked a nut. The left one. When her hand came in contact with Stubb’s body, he squirmed more. The screaming… it commenced. I stood there, arms crossed over my chest, eyes locked on his eyes. The eyes told a story. They always told a story. He was horrified. The look of finality weighed heavy behind them. He knew he was dying. I loved it. To witness it. The eyes… they told so much. And his told me he had deep regrets. They moved frantically around his head. Bounced around the room, looking for a way out. Except there wasn’t one. That gave me chills. Satisfaction like no other. In that moment, I felt like Big G himself, I was in control of so much shit. Literally gave me the shivers, high key.

I looked away from him, stepped forward and locked eyes on Jada with that scalpel in her hand. It shook. She hesitated but she gripped his nut and in one swift movement like I told her to, sliced it. Slipped the scalpel across its thin skin and blood emerged. I clenched down on my teeth again and told her to dig. She looked over at me. I locked eyes with her. Didn’t say anything. My eyes… they delivered a loud enough message.