Page 2 of Delirium 2

I was disgusted.

Honestly.

There had been rumors about First Lady floating around the city since Pastor was killed. People said she was on bed rest, in a vegetative state. Some said she was literally crazy, talking to herself, just a mess. No one knew what the fuck they were talking about. First Lady hadn’t been seen since before Pastor Isaiah’s death, so they drew up their own assumptions. I thought it was disrespectful as hell and never participated in the rumors. Pastor Isaiah died years before my momma. And while I might not have known what it was like to experience grief back then, I was compassionate. Little did I know, though, I would know a pain similar to First Lady’s years later. I didn’t think there was anything funny or gossip worthy about loss.

“My bad,” Alani said.

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway… Lake.”

“Yeah?” She answered. “You good? Like… What's going on? You’re not going to hop on the FaceTime? I know that bitch lavish.”

“I heard they moved her to a big ass five-bedroom mansion out that bitch. I want to see it too!” Yelled Kiera in the background.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not going to hop on FaceTime. I’m at work. I’m taking this shit serious.” I paused. “So look, I need you to pack me a bag. Dude named Rocc gon’—

“You moving out there? Damn bitch. What the hell is really going on?” Alani butted in again.

“Lani if you don’t shut the fuck up, bro. I’m not moving⁠—”

“And why not? Didn’t you say he asked you to move in? Like as a live-in aide? You need to move in because ain’t shit out here in The Bricks. Dead ass serious,” Lakeland cut in.

Lake didn’t understand because Lake didn’t understand. She hadn’t loved and loss like me. For someone to truly understand, they would have had to gone through what I went through.

I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes again. They were truly blowing me. “We will talk about that later. Bitch damn! What is wrong with you ho’s? Anyway. I need you to pack me a bag. I’m staying out here tonight. He’s going to bring you the key. I don’t want that nigga in my apartment at all so make sure he stays in the parking lot.”

“What you need me to get?”

After telling her everything I needed, we got off the phone. I stood there a moment, eyes on First Lady. I ran my hand through my hair and tore my eyes away from her, to take in the house for the fiftieth time. What the hell was I doing here, bro? Every couple of minutes or so, I found myself questioning life. Questioning reality, really. This truly did not feel like my life. At all.

To be thrown into an opportunity like this, not long after my brother died was a little rattling. Spiritually, we called that a timeline jump. And this one... it was massive. Intimidatingly massive. So massive that I didn’t think I was prepared for it. But because of how I was set up mentally, I knew that this opportunity wouldn’t have fell into my lap like this unless I actually was. Still... regardless of what I ‘knew’, I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t feel ready for any of this at all.

Losing Demetrius was life changing in ways I could have never imagined.

Sighing, I walked out of the kitchen into the living room. First Lady stayed watching The Bernie Mac Show. Exodus said it was her favorite. I sat and watched with her for a good twenty minutes before calling Rocc.

“Wassup Sereia? What you need?” Rocc answered.

My brows dipped.

Exodus told him I’d be calling.

“I need you to go to my apartment and grab a few things, right. But I don’t know you, so I don’t want you all up in my shit. My cousin, Lakeland is going to go up and get my stuff. But first, I need you to come to the house and grab the key because she ain’t got one.”

He snorted with a light laugh. “Got it. Anything else, lady?”

I glanced over at First Lady and pulled my lips into my mouth. “Is it a Walmart out here?”

“In Wildermere? Hell naw. Target… couple other little spots.”

I turned the corners of my mouth up. “Of course. Could you stop at Target for me before you get here? I want to try something with First Lady.”

“Mrs. Mari?”

“Yes, Mrs. Mari. First Lady,” I stated, matter-of-factly. “I want a couple of board games. I’ll tell you what when you get here.”

“Bet.”

We hung up and I looked over at First Lady again. I wasn’t thrilled about having to change her briefs or bathe her, but I was honored to be sitting with her. I was honored to have been chosen for such a job. He could have gone through some upscale, highly accredited nursing company but he chose me. A broke, sad, girl from The Woods who didn’t have a lick of experience with nursing. It was a little crazy. Hell… it was a lot of crazy. But I was here and I was going to make sure he didn’t regret his decision.