Page 34 of Delirium 2

Probably so.

They probably prayed together every night.

How he’d been with me wasn’t tailored for me and me only. Couldn’t be. Not with a girlfriend.

I sighed.

“I’m about to go to sleep,” I lied.

He paused.

“At nine o’clock?” He questioned.

“Yes, at nine o’clock. Don’t you got something better to be doing?”

“Hell naw,” he said. “Bored as hell. That’s why I’m on the phone with yo mean ass.”

I laughed and found myself blushing. I quickly dismissed it as words sat on the tip of my tongue. Words I didn’t want to speak because I didn't want to be one of those. Where Exodus was concerned, I didn’t want to be a lot of things. But regardless, I felt myself slipping into that territory anyway. I really didn’t want to mention his girlfriend though. Like, that would be top tier bird activity, wouldn’t it be? Mentioning her would show him I liked him and hello… I didn't want X to know I had even the slightest crush on him. I wasn’t into stroking niggas egos. Hell, as if a crush from me, a broke girl from The Woods would give thee Exodus Christ an ego boost.

I’d never speak down on myself for real, but from what I heard, his girlfriend was a popular TikToker with thousands of followers. The type of bitch who wore designer to bed, and kept her hair and makeup done. Why would I be able to stroke his ego?

However, despite not wanting to bring her up, I did anyway.

“You should be on the phone with your girlfriend,” I said, regretting it the minute I said it.

I put my palm against my forehead and took the phone from my ear with a grunt. Dummy.

“I don’t have one of those.”

“Mmhmm.”

“I’m sure you heard a lot about me. You ever heard anything about me being a liar?”

I racked my brain, searching it for a good fifteen seconds before realizing I hadn’t. In fact, Exodus was wildly known for being brutally honest. He didn’t care about what he said, or who he said it to. He was the type of man who said the first thing that came to mind, which made me circle back to him mentioning my fake Prada bag. Yeah, he didn’t give a fuck. I sported that bitch everywhere and not one person mentioned it being a replica. But then again, coming from where I came from, people probably didn’t know.

“No,” I finally said.

“Exactly. What my momma doin’? What you put her on today? Sunday’s best on a Wednesday?”

I laughed and proudly said, “Yep. Sure did. A nice powder blue dress with a white hat with a blue feather on it. She just finished knitting, watching her show. I think she’s dozing off so I’m about to put her to bed.”

“Aight, bet. Call me back after you do.”

I swallowed with pinched brows. “For what?”

“I just told you I was bored. You bored too. Let’s be bored together.”

With that, he hung up and I sat there for a moment, confused. Did Exodus want a friend?

I sat there a moment, processing what was happening. As usual, I circled back to how different my life was. And on cue, my heart raced. I swallowed and gripped one of the couch pillows, eyes wide, breathing a little labored. What the fuck was happening? I looked around the house, as panic started to build inside of me. Where the hell was I? What was I doing here, bro? Why in the hell did Exodus fucking Christ have my phone number? What the hell was I doing making three thousand dollars a week? All of this after my brother was killed. What kind of quantum leap was this?

I took a deep breath, swallowed again, and loosened my grip on that pillow, smoothing its tassels out. This was life. This was my life. I didn’t know how often I would have moments like the moment I just had but… I respected it. I didn’t beat myself up over feeling what I felt because hell… it was valid.

I pushed up from the couch and walked over to First Lady who had dozed off. Reaching over to the cushion next to her, I picked the remote control up to turn the TV off.

“You ready to go to bed, First Lady? Today wore you out, my girl!”

She woke up and took a deep breath. Once she woke up fully, I reached for her hand and she grabbed mine to stand. On our walk up to her room, I talked to her about the importance of bathing herself. Not because I was crazy uncomfortable with it, but because I wanted to give her something to think about. If she did think about something other than Pastor, at least. I told her how it was self pampering and all. Regardless of if she bathed herself or not, I made a big deal out of it. She had a whole bedtime routine.