Page 4 of Delirium 2

But apparently he had been because today… I had the meal my brother was supposed to come home with.

2

EXODUS

Resting against the black, wing backed chair, phone in hand, eyes on the screen, I followed the little black dot traveling around the map. That black dot being Jada’s Mercedes. It’d been moving all night. Traveled around Brickhaven. Crossed over into Kingston. Even touched the outskirts of Wildermere. The person driving it was having a fuckin’ field day. The car didn’t sit but for a couple of hours before it was on the move again. This morning, it was settled in Brickhaven. Had been for hours at a spot they frequented.

I didn’t sleep. Had been up all night, in my secret place—my sanctuary, talking to Big G, watching that black dot, preparing. Spiritually. After today, a nigga would need a serious fuckin’ cleanse. On my momma.

Closing the app, I stood up with a stretch. My knees cracked. Back too. I’d been sitting for hours. In silence. I hadn't spoken a single word since I touched bases with my brothers last night. Gave them clear instructions on what I needed them to do and where I needed them to be, and at what time. They had questions. But because they knew me, they held off. I told them I was in hibernation, needed silence, and that when it was time to talk, I would talk.

10:00AM. That’s what time I told them to be at the house. Before I got up from the chair, it was inching in on 9. I needed to wash my ass. Had to put something on my stomach. Needed to check on the dogs, too.

I walked over to the window, drawing the blinds. I stood there, hands clasped behind my back, eyes closed, facing the sun. Through my closed lids, I could see an array of colors. Hues of orange and yellows, bouncing around my eyes. The sun on my skin through the window wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel its warmth on my skin. But for now, this would suffice. I took in a deep breath, clenched down on my teeth, and turned to walk away.

After leaving the room, I jogged down the stairs. Prince and Princess met me at the bottom of them. When I was up in my room they left me alone. Sometimes they lingered around the door, pacing back and forth, waiting for me to come out. Last night, they stayed on the first level. Dogs—my dogs especially—were smart as hell and normally picked up on my energy. Last night, it was dark and heavy. When I walked in, they excitedly greeted me but quickly withdrew and I didn’t have to say a single word. I fed them in silence, turned the lights out, and immediately retreated to the sanctuary where I spent all of my night.

This morning, I ran my hands over their heads, and they followed me to the kitchen where I refilled their bowls with food. That generic, hard bullshit. They didn’t eat like that often. I prepared meals. Fed my kids steak, chicken, duck, and shit like that. But because life was lifing, they had to settle for the bagged-up shit.

Once their bowls were filled, they bowed their heads and offered me their paws. I grabbed hold of them and said a silent prayer. The minute I said amen, they ran off to eat. As if they hadn’t eaten in days, they attacked their bowls with urgency.

Walking away, I opened the cabinet, grabbed a big ass bowl, and headed to the pantry where I grabbed my box of Corn Flakes and the canister of sugar. After sitting both on the counter, I got the milk from the fridge. I filled the bowl with corn flakes and added three scoops of sugar on top of it. Could’ve gotten the frosted cornflakes. Didn’t because this shit right here? It took me back to my childhood. After pouring the milk into the bowl, I sat and ate breakfast in silence, mind centered on what I cooked up last night.

* * *

At ten on the nose, my brothers pulled onto the property. Before they could approach the gate, I opened it, watching them on the camera. I was in the living room, seated on the couch, dressed, hydrated and full. My mind hadn’t moved from Jada since last night. Was I worried about her? Absolutely not. Jada’s wellbeing wasn’t my main concern. My anger had absolutely nothing to do with her being taken. I told her to sit her ass the fuck down, didn’t I? Told her that despite how good she thought she was out here, she wasn’t. She was a walking target. Niggas in The Bricks were hungry. Starving. Stomachs touching their fuckin’ ribs. You think niggas gave a fuck about who I was and what I would do with starvation beating down their backs? Fuck no. I was the big bad wolf, for sure. But hunger sent muthafuckas in frenzies. Made ‘em delirious. Her simple-minded ass couldn’t grasp the concept.

I was upset because I’d been inconvenienced.

You think I had time for this shit? To be saving a simple minded, hard headed, bitch? I had half a mind to leave her ass where she was but that small part of me that gave a fuck about her told me not to. Regardless, what happened couldn’t go unpunished. Jada was mine. She belonged to me. Was property of Exodus Christ. You couldn’t touch what was mine and get away with it. It wasn’t about me being territorial over a bitch. I wasn’t. It was the principle. Remember… I said before… it was rarely ever about the actions of a muthafucka but mainly about the principle. Not only had they taken what belonged to me, but they wanted my money too. Cheese I worked hard for. That was an offense in itself. Fuck was wrong with niggas?

A couple of minutes after I opened the gates, there was a knock at the door. Knock-knock-knock-knock. Pause. Knock-knock-knock-knock. A knock pattern Isaiah Christ passed down to us. Right after, the doorbell sounded. I pushed up from the couch and walked over to answer.

Upon opening the door, I extended my hand to Kiss and we did our handshake. The only hands I shook were the hands of my brothers. Slap, slap, slap, fingers locked, grip. Some shit we made up when we were young niggas. Back in the day, when we were young and lame as hell, it ended with a shoulder bump. Right after that, I did the same with Zeke before he passed me the blunt he pulled from.

Taking it, I pulled from it and closed the door behind them, locking up.

We headed to the living room, in silence. The scowl on Kiss’s face when we locked eyes a minute ago told me he was on what I was on. Zeke wore a cocky smirk, waiting to hear what the hell was going on. If I was quiet, in hibernation something was going on and nine times out of ten, it was some heavy shit. I didn’t go into hibernation often. Not in the middle of a mission. Which we were on. Had a big ass shipment to prepare for. Something like this in the middle of work really threw me off my pivot and I hated that shit. Whoever was about to feel everything I felt. Times ten. A nigga hated inconveniences. It was aight though. I was about to have a time. Big G gave me the green light. I was on go for real. Pedal to the metal, full throttle.

“What we on, fool?” Kiss asked, gripping the top of his pants before sitting on the couch.

Zeke sat in the big chair to the right of the couch, and I sat across from Kiss on the couch across from him. Pulling from the blunt again, I looked at the fiery tip as smoke seeped from my slightly parted lips.

Shifting my eyes away from the fire, I put them on Kiss. “It’s up.”

“What’s up?” Zeke asked, leaning forward on his knees, attention locked.

I pulled from the blunt again and ran my tongue over my bottom lip. Closing my eyes, I remembered the sound of Jada’s screams on the other end of the phone yesterday. “Somebody took my bitch.”

“What?” Kiss asked, top lip curled up.

“On bro?” Zeke asked, brows raised. “You a mafuckin lie.”

I looked over at him. “If I’m lyin, I’m flyin. Fuck I’m at, nigga?”

He sat back against the chair and stroked his chin. Kiss tilted his head to the side, staring at me with his lips slightly parted, stunned.

“Why we still sitting here?” Kiss asked. “Fuck.”