Page 41 of Delirium 2

“Maybe I didn’t hear it because both words sound the same, bitch,” I said, my ears perking up at the mention of Exodus’s ex.

I didn’t know the bitch, but I knew she was heavy on social media. A prissy bougie bitch that didn’t post a picture in the same outfit twice. She wore designer. Had a real Prada bag. Chanel, Gucci, and Louie too. She was one of those. BBL bandit, with lip fillers, and a face full of makeup every time she upped a picture. Makeup she really didn’t need. I wasn’t a hater by far, so it wasn’t hard for me to say she was really pretty. Like… extremely pretty. The type of pretty that would make sense for someone like Exodus. As pretty as she was, she wasn’t fucking with me though. The only thing she had on me was the body and the designer brands that dressed it up really nice. I was just a girl from around the way. Throw some fly shit on me, shorty wasn’t fucking with me. I didn’t like to compare though. So… I stopped. We were in two different categories of pretty.

“Anyway bitch,” she said through a sigh. “She on there offering promo now. Damn near all of her videos are TikTok shop ads, too. She don’ lost a nice chunk of followers. She down bad, for real. Ain’t acting like it though. But you know a bitch eyes tell the truth every time.”

“Damn,” was all I said, as I spritzed water on my tight coils.

Today I had on a curly wig.

A twenty-two-inch water wave wig that looked damn good on me. I got it from Wiggins, so it came ready to wear out of the box. Didn’t need to pull up on Zariah for this one. I melted the lace, spritzed it with water and piled on moose. My shit was laid. On top of that, my wispy lashes looked good, my brows were filled and arched, and my lips were popping. Before he said he would take us to the store, I was around here looking basic as hell, with my hair thrown up in a claw clip, brows sparse, lips dry, no lashes. Just chilling, not expecting to see him today since I’d seen him twice already this week and Genny stopped by this morning. That was usually how it went. If he didn’t come, another Christ came. Any time someone other than him walked in the door, I rolled my eyes so hard. So, imagine how surprised I was when he said he’d take us to the store. Bitch I got up and ran to the room to get myself together so fast.

“You about to take her place,” Lake said with a giggle.

I sucked my teeth. “I ain’t trying to take no bitch place. I’m chillin.”

I was chillin’.

I didn’t find any humor in what shorty had going on now. I didn’t care. Hadn’t asked Exodus anything about her or their break up. I truly had tunnel vision and didn’t care about anything or anybody’s situation outside of my own. I had enough going on. Fuck would I pile someone else’s shit on top of that? That’s why I didn’t like to gossip. However, my cousin? Shit… my cousins? They loved it.

“That’s what’s going to happen tho’. You just told me you were on the phone all night.”

“I didn’t say with who.”

“Did I ask? Nope. Because I didn’t have to and you didn’t have to tell me.” she paused. “Ol fake, sneaky, secretive ass. I know you was on the phone with Exodus all night. Who else yo ass gon’ be on the phone with? Better not had been Vellz.” She paused. “As a matter of fact… Bitch! Was it Vellz?”

“Am I a dummy?” I countered, asking her dumb ass question with a question.

“Anyway. What y’all talk about all night?” She asked, instead of replying to my question.

She didn’t have to. Bitch knew I wasn’t one of those. My cousins thought I was a cold bitch, I cut Vellz off so easy without a second thought. I mean, to them I did it without a second thought. Dumping Vellz wasn’t an easy decision to make. I went back and forth on that shit for weeks. Months, really. It wasn’t as if I left him because he cheated. I left him because he lacked ambition and because I was bored as hell. Leaving over something other than cheating was hard. You hold on to potential. You look at what you want them to be instead of who they actually are. I did that for a minute but every time I got caught up in the what ifs and that potential he did something that reminded me of exactly who he was.

“Nothing for real,” I said, being vague, just as my phone dinged.

I took it off my ear to check it, and it was a text from him, letting me know he was on his way. Butterflies filled my stomach and the nape of my neck heated up. I placed my hand there and sighed. What was this nigga doing to me?

“Nothing for real. Bitch you always trying to keep secrets. You’ll tell me eventually. I got a feeling this nigga is about to take you all the way through there. And I’m here for it all!”

Five minutes later, Lake and I were off the phone, and I was spritzing on another layer of perfume. Some Arabian shit I got off TikTok shop. Thinking of TikTok shop… I plopped down on the bed and hit the TikTok icon on my phone to do a little stalking. Once the app was open, I hit the search icon and typed in ‘lifewithjadamarie’. I wasn’t the gossiping type and for the most part, I honestly did not care about what other people had going on. But I wanted to see if I could see what Lake claimed she had. The truth behind her eyes.

The first video I clicked on was in fact a TikTok shop ad. She was showing off some Korean skincare line, wearing a face full of makeup. What kind of sense did that make? She was insecure. I shook my head and continued to watch the video. She was sad. She might’ve had on a ton of eyeliner, long heavy lashes, and light brown contact lenses but I could vividly see the truth. It wasn’t her eyes that got me though. It was just the overall energy of the video. She was bubbly. Too bubbly. Her smile was forced and every now and then she would sigh, look off, and then put her focus back on the phone. Her voice, when she wasn’t forcing the excitement, was shaky. Home girl was sad as hell.

I shook my head and closed the TikTok app, wondering what happened between the two of them.

Thirty minutes later, I was sitting on the couch watching The Bernie Mac show—as usual—with First Lady when I heard the front door sound. I took a deep breath, swallowed, and smoothed the top of my hair over.

“Hell yeah,” I heard Exodus say, the sound of his deep baritone carrying throughout the house. “Three days… Moms crib… Man what? I’ll get up with you later, dumb ass.”

Shortly after his call ended, he emerged from the hallway. I didn’t look up. Didn’t look his way. Kept my eyes fixed on the screen. But I could see him in my peripheral. He was dressed in all black. Terrycloth shorts. Black t-shirt. Gold Cuban link chain heavy around his neck. He was big. Seemed bigger today than he did the last time I saw him. Or did his shirt just cling onto his muscles in a way that made him seem bigger?

Shit.

My knee bounced.

Thumbnail went between my teeth.

I couldn’t control myself.

“What up doe?” he spoke, walking into the living room.