Page 13 of Nobody Praying for Me

At first, she remained silent, but her chest continued to heave up and down, making me assume she was only getting angrier. She jerked her face out of my hands and her knee away too. “Why would I be ashamed, Kalm? I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Foxy and her daughter introduced me to that lifestyle, then left me to drown in it. If anyone should be ashamed, it’s them. Not me! I never had a fucking choice!” she screamed in a shaky voice.

Fat tears trailed down her red, puffed cheeks. The softness I typically saw in her eyes was hard stone today. Once she got that off her chest, she slammed back in her seat and curled her top lip. After a minute, her face fell into her hands, and she began to cry so hard her shoulders shook.

This was my first time seeing this side of her, and it made me want to wrap her in my arms way more than it made me want to run away. I knew now wasn’t the time to try touching her though. She was more likely to haul off and slap the fuck out of me in response. I didn’t want to push her limits, because seeing her grandmother had already triggered her.

I gulped down what I wanted to say and curled my hand into a ball to stop myself from reaching out. Putting the truck in reverse, I felt my heart tighten because of how much pain I knew she was in as I was forced to listen to her cry. If nothing else, this situation made me understand her a little better. When the time was right, I would tell her I didn’t pity her; I empathized with her because with a role model like that, her life could only have been a rocky road up until this point.

9

CHARISMA RAE JONES

Oasis lay across the couch with her head resting on my lap. I absentmindedly played with her hair, not even paying the movie playing on the screen any attention. Hearing a jingling key, I glanced up to see the doorknob turn. The alarm beeped when Kalm pushed the front door open and stepped inside. He closed the door, locked it, then reset the alarm. I noticed he winced when he lifted his hand to do it.

He turned in surprise when he saw us sitting in the living room. I gulped down the emotion bubbling in my throat. We hadn’t spoken since I blew up on him a few days ago, and the tension was thicker than some sourdough. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him, but I didn’t know how to start the conversation.

Foxy was a sore spot for me, and anytime she was around, I was triggered. Neither my grandmother nor my mother before she passed away really did anything for me in my life, but they always liked to act like they did, and I owed them something for it. If it weren’t for them, I would’ve never known what a trick, whore house, or anything like that was. They ruined me, and I was still fighting my way out of the darkness.

I was angry she had the audacity to beg for money just to protect me from Bry. Even worse, she’d offered herself to Kalm, and while he played it cool, it made me sick to stomach. Maybe, deep down, I was embarrassed to know that was what I came from, and he had to see it with no filter and totally unprepared for the truth.

“Oh, hey. I thought y’all would be sleep already,” he spoke lowly while hanging his keys up on the wall.

Sissy sat up and stretched her arms over her head. “I was waiting up for you to get home first. Pretty just kept me company.” She shot up and walked toward him. He opened his arms for a hug, and she crashed into him. I wished I could walk up on him and hug him like that too. Just like Oasis, I needed his comfort. We both noticed him wince when she wrapped her arms around him. Stepping back, she eyed him suspiciously. “What’s wrong with you?”

He shook his head, offering her a close-mouthed smile. “Just trained a little hard today. I’ll be good once I soak in the tub and get some rest.”

She hummed with a nod. “Okay, well, since I’ve laid eyes on you, I can go to bed now,” she said, sounding like somebody’s mama.

His eyes landed on me when I snickered at her. I froze in place, licking my now dry lips. “Aight, get some sleep, baby girl. I’ll be here when you wake up. We can go out for breakfast if you’re up for it.”

She clapped her hands excitedly. “Okay, deal.” She stuck out her pinky that he wrapped his around. He pulled her forward to kiss her on the forehead, then she left for her bedroom.

I sat silently on the couch, watching him limp into the kitchen. Standing from my seat, I crept over to the wall and peeked around the corner to find him bending down in the fridge. He hissed when he lifted with a bottle of water in his hand.

“What did you do tonight?” I questioned, startling him.

He looked like a deer in headlights when he glanced at me. “Nothing,” he replied quietly, popping the top on his bottle. “You finally talking to me again?” he asked, trying to change the subject. He kept his eyes leveled on me when he spoke, making my nerves become a jumbled mess.

I ignored his question as I closed the distance between us. Without asking for permission, I lifted his shirt to find his midsection was full of dark-colored bruising. I gasped with a quick glance to find his eyes. “What happened, Kalm Alexander Savage?”

He stared at me with his lips tucked before he finally sighed. “I accepted an underground fighting invitation for some extra cash until my next professional fight.”

“Kalm. . .” I whispered with tears in my eyes. “Why did you do this?”

“I just told you, extra cash.”

“But—”

“No buts, Pretty. I’m good. I’ll bounce back in a day or two.” I glanced up from his bruised ribs to the tight expression on his face.

“No matter how hard you punch, it won’t make the pain go away,” I whispered.

“How you going to talk to me about how I deal with my pain when you’re still burying yours?” His words made me ball my hand into a fist. I turned away from him, ready to walk away, but his arm around my waist snatched me back into his chest. I began to breathe heavily from a mixture of our proximity and anger for the way he called me out. “Where the fuck you think you’re running off to?”

“Let me go, Kalm,” I said, trying to hold back my tears. “Stop thinking you can save me, because you can’t.”

The more I fought against him, the tighter his grip on me became. I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt his lips graze the top of my ear. “If a nigga can’t save you, then at least let me provide for you and protect you. Let me give a fuck about you because now I understand that you’ve never had someone do that before.” He spun me around before I could fully finish processing his words and continued to wiggle his way into my heart. “I’m here now, Pretty, and I’ll never let you live like that again.”

I shook my head in an attempt to keep my tears at bay. “Everybody always says that, then they disappoint me.” My voice cracked as I spoke my truth. I had heard so many promises that were never fulfilled. Why would I believe he would be different?