Page 18 of Sugar & Shadows

His laugh was low. “You’re either a saint or a moron. If she threw a taco at me, I’m pretty sure I’d beg her to do it again. I don’t remember much about her from school,” he said. “Except that she was annoying and you were always competing with her. Did she look like this back then?”

“No.” High school Sabrina had just been there. The endless thorn in my side. My rival in every area.

As I recalled those days, I struggled to remember her physically. She was more like a specter of confidence, good grades, and anger.

Had her hair always been so shiny? Her lips always so pouty? I didn’t have the time or energy or inclination to care.

“Not my type,” he went on. “Too buttoned-up and fancy. But for you?” Lips pursed, he let out a low whistle. “You may hate her, and I’m pretty sure she’s plotting your demise over there, but I feel like she’d rip the buttons right off your Brooks Brothers shirt with those red nails.”

“Go away, Logan.” I considered punching him in the solar plexus, but I couldn’t look away from her.

She was laughing and chatting so damn naturally. Like she hadn’t been gone for almost two decades.

“Fine,” he said. “I promised Mrs. Knox I’d talk to her about her dog’s anxiety. Holler if you need me.”

She was completely at ease, her eyes bright and her smile brighter, chatting and laughing. Every few minutes, she looked over at me. The expression would vanish, though the look there wasn’t anger. No, it was curiosity. Like she was sizing me up and assessing my weaknesses. Making a plan to destroy me.

Now that the townsfolk had gotten what they needed from me, it was time to pull my attention away from her and head home. But before I could leave, Stella Stone approached, wearing a bright red coat and a smile, her chin-length hair curling up under her beanie and a small brown bag in her hand.

Stella Stone’s crush on me had been an open secret since she was in middle school. For decades, I’d waited for it to run its course. For her to meet a wonderful guy who deserved her. And yet it had persisted.

“My secret snickerdoodles,” she said, holding the bag out. “I saved these for you. Figured you could use them tonight.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the offered treats. Stella was an amazing baker and always seemed to have my favorites on hand.

She had always been in little sister territory. Never once had my feelings for her veered away from that. I adored her and respected her. I wanted what was best for her. But I was not it. A stronger man—a man with real principles—would just tell her. I’d tried to a thousand times, but each time I worked up the courage, I’d think about how sad she would be afterward, how disappointed, and I’d lose my nerve.

Maybe Josh was right. Maybe I did need therapy to deal with my pathological need to be liked.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, squeezing my arm.

I stiffened. I didn’t mean to, but I was overstimulated and exhausted.

“No one works harder for this town,” she said. “If you need help, just ask.”

I nodded, mouth pressed in a line. She meant well. She was one of the best people I knew. But in that moment, it was as though yet another person was here, asking for something from me.

I took a step back. “I appreciate it,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “But I don’t have the energy for this right now.”

Her eyes widened and her cheeks went red.

My stomach clenched. Fuck.

She dropped her head. “So sorry,” she said, more to her feet than me. “I didn’t mean to add to your stress.”

Turning on her heel, she headed back toward her sister and her friends, leaving me holding a bag of homemade cookies and feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.

I’d tried to be careful with her. Hell, I’d tried to tread lightly with everyone. Living my life in a way that wouldn’t cause harm.

But tonight I didn’t have the strength to carry the weight of others’ emotions along with my own.

Chapter 5

Sabrina

Iwoke early, exhausted and with a familiar sense of existential dread. My late-night research had led me down wild paths, but one fact remained, this town was fucked.

What the hell had I agreed to? Whatever it was, I was even more motivated to show Mayor Gabe and the town of Maplewood what I was capable of.