Page 82 of Sugar & Shadows

“I do. And great friends.”

“Tons of hobbies. You’re never bored.”

“See?” I said, gaining steam. “What if the worst-case scenario is that you live a life filled with fulfilling work, friendships, and family? What if you have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want? You could travel, have ten cats, pierce or tattoo every inch of your body and eat cheese for dinner every night.”

“Sounds epic,” Frankie muttered.

“All the princess movies we watched as kids and all the media we’ve been fed our whole lives taught us that we should center our lives around men. That we should be waiting around to be chosen,” I explained.

“It’s bullshit,” Nina groused. “Your life isn’t incomplete if you don’t fall in love and live ‘happily ever after’ for eternity with your soulmate.”

“Exactly. I’m thirty-five, and I have never even been close to being in a loving, fulfilling relationship.” I lifted a shoulder. “It’s not in the cards for me. So I choose myself. Maybe someone amazing will come along one day, and if so, that would be great. But if not, I’m happy with the life I’m leading. My advice to you is to choose yourself. Invest in yourself.”

“Yeah. Don’t pin your hopes on some guy and follow him around for the next twenty years.” Frankie barked a laugh.

“Hey,” Stella said.

She only shrugged unapologetically.

The blonde frowned. “I know. I just hate how it sounds.”

“Which is why, starting today, you can choose differently,” Nina said. “What do you want out of life?” she asked her friend. “Deep down?”

Stella did the thoughtful head tilt thing again. She was so pretty and had such a good heart. How sad that Gabe had rejected her. Sad, but also… a relief? She was way too good for him anyway.

“I want to throw axes until my arms hurt and then go home and watch trashy reality TV with no bra on.”

We broke into cheers, then got down to business again, throwing axes and laughing until we were exhausted. Then we headed home.

The whole way to my mom’s house, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d learned.

Gabe had let someone down. He’d been honest about what he wanted at the expense of another person’s feelings. He’d prioritized honesty over being liked.

It was messing with my head. He was an inauthentic politician with a pathological need to be adored. The guy for whom everything was effortless.

Yet he’d made an effort.

Because he had feelings. For a woman.

Nausea hit me again. What if the woman in question was me?

Or worse, what if it wasn’t?

Chapter 22

Sabrina

As my phone buzzed on the coffee table, I stared at it, debating whether I really wanted to move to answer it. Maybe I’d just let it go to voicemail. Despite sleeping nine hours last night, I was exhausted. I’d tried adding vitamins to my daily routine. That didn’t help. Drinking more water didn’t help.

Mom had been bugging me to see a doctor, and I was beginning to think she was right.

Forcing myself to sit up, I reached for the phone, and when Harper’s name flashed on the screen, I swiped my thumb over it to answer quickly.

“It’s time.”

Her voice was so loud I nearly jumped off the couch.

Pulling the device away from my ear, I winced. Jesus.