Page 50 of Driving Beats

“Well, true.” His confession floors me. The only plausible explanation I can come up with centers on his ex-wife. I get on my back and snuggle closer to him. Maybe it’s our time at the botanical gardens, but I feel close with him. I need to understand.

Intertwining our fingers, I lower my voice. “Why?”

He looks at me. At our combined hands. And sighs. “When the band first started out, all the guys took part in everything that was offered. We had unlimited drinks, food, and women. I did too, minus the sex.”

“Because you were married?”

“Exactly. I was faithful.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, Luke instituted monthly blood tests to make sure we were all healthy.”

“Smart man. He didn’t want you guys catching anything.”

“Right. Well, I was the leader of the pack for the tests. I figured I should show the rest of them how it’s done.”

Dread comes over me. Obviously, this did not end well. I bite my tongue to let him finish his story.

“One time, a month or so after we’d had a break, during which I was home with Lillian, we had our regular check-ups. Like usual, I went first. A few hours later, I got a call from Luke to go see him. Not having a clue what was up, I entered his room and he was holding a piece of paper. I’ll never forget what he said.”

I clasp his fingers harder.

Coop shifts into another voice. “He said, ‘Coop, man, I’m sorry to give this information to you. Only one guy in UC has a STD. It’s you.’”

My eyes close. Even though I was sure of what was coming, it still stings to hear it spoken out loud. “She cheated on you?”

He stares at the ceiling.

After a long moment, I say, “So you got a divorce?”

“Basically, yes. Río and the rest of the band were supportive. Luke got our attorneys to draft a Non-Disclosure Agreement for her to sign, which is why none of this hit the media. Besides, I’m only the guitarist and UC hadn’t really hit it big back then. I got healthy and divorced.”

Somehow, I think there’s more to this story. Something he’s not sharing. “And swore off women?”

He offers a sad smile. “Something like that.”

“If your ex was the reason for your divorce, why is she still invading your meditation?”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “Damn. I knew you were smart. I guess I didn’t realize just how intuitive you are.”

“Call me a modern-day Freud.”

“I’m a Carl Jung guy myself.”

“Figures.” Silence descends again, which I allow for a minute. When he doesn’t appear ready to continue the conversation, I ask, “What did she do to you? Besides the obvious, that is.”

“I didn’t pay attention to the signs our marriage wasn’t as strong as I thought. The calls she didn’t answer, the ones I didn’t make because I was out with the guys after a gig.” His eyes close. “When she cheated, I learned something about myself. My own judgment wasn't reliable. That’s why I turned to Buddhism and Zen teachings. They helped me sort through everything.”

He opens his eyes and stares directly into mine.

“That’s bullshit.”

15

COOP

Ibolt upright. “That’s how it happened.”

She leans against the headboard, placing her chin on her knees. “The way I see it, you made a mistake. You were basically my age, right? Do you think I’m ready to settle down?”

A clearer answer never existed. “Obviously not.”