Page 123 of Finding Forever

Talking to a photograph should have felt foolish. Somehow, here, it didn’t. She looked toward the lake. “I haven’t been here in ages. I’d forgotten how beautiful it is.”

The leaves stirred gently above her.

“There’s so much to tell you.” Beth smiled as she glanced down at his image. “Kayla’s married, but you probably know that by now.”

Her smile grew. “You would have loved the wedding. She looked beautiful, and Tyler cried when he saw her. Ryan walked her down the aisle with me. He was nervous, although he tried to pretend he wasn’t. He did a good job.”

A small wave broke against the shore. “We missed you.” The words carried sadness, but not the sharp, breath-stealing grief Beth remembered from the early years.

She ran a finger along the edge of the photo. “Kayla graduated, too. And she starts working for Chef Aldana on Monday. A real, full-time sous chef.”

Pride warmed her voice. “She’s terrified, although she’d probably object to me telling you that. She brought two pairs of work shoes home because she couldn’t decide which ones to wear.”

Beth shook her head. “She gets that from you. Remember the four-wheeler?”

She could almost hear Jessie’s protest. “You spent three weeks choosing one, Jessie. Three weeks. I’m not exaggerating.”

A laugh escaped her, but when she looked across the water again, her smile slowly faded. “I wish you’d seen her grow up.” That was harder to say. Beth swallowed and gave herself a moment.

Jessie had missed so much. Kayla leaving for college. Her graduation. Falling in love with Tyler. Her wedding. There would be more milestones in the years ahead. Perhaps grandchildren one day. New jobs and new homes and Christmases around crowded tables.

For a long time, Beth had thought of those occasions partly in terms of the man who should have been there to see them.

Today, sitting beneath the summer sky, she realized something else.

Jessie was part of them anyway.

He was part of Kayla. Part of Beth. His life hadn’t vanished simply because it had ended too soon.

A breeze swept in from the lake, lifting the hair from the back of Beth’s neck.

She looked at his photograph. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

Her heartbeat quickened. “I’ve met a man. His name is Dave. He’s a contractor. He’s been working at Finley Point, and he was in charge of the arts center remodel. He has a son, Mark, who means the world to him.”

She hesitated. “He’s a good person.”

The description was true, but nowhere near enough.

“He makes me laugh. He knows when I need help, but he also knows when to let me work something out for myself. He can be stubborn and annoying, and occasionally he thinks he’s funnier than he actually is.”

Beth smiled. “And I love him.”

The words drifted into the quiet afternoon. She looked down at Jessie’s face and waited for the guilt that had followed the thought so many times before.

It didn’t come.

Her eyes filled, but the tears felt different. There was sadness because Jessie wasn’t sitting beside her. There always would be, but she felt his presence, the calm steady wholeness of his spirit that always centered her.

Beth drew a slow breath. “I made a mess of things, Jessie. I told Dave I couldn’t see him anymore because I thought loving him meant I was letting go of you.”

Her voice wavered. “I couldn’t bear that.”

The branches moved overhead as another breeze came through the trees. Beth sat quietly, watching the shifting patterns of sunlight on the ground. “But I think I finally understand what I couldn’t see before.”

She looked at Jessie again. “I don’t have to let you go. You’ll always be with me.”

Her eyes blurred and Beth wiped away a tear. Nothing could take away the years she’d spent with Jessie. “I was so busy trying to protect what we had that I forgot that what we had doesn’t need protecting. We lived it.”