Page 60 of Private Pleasures

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Carla said. “It just might work. Jeff hasn’t looked too good of late. He’s a little paunchy, and you know he never was paunchy. And he’s got dark circles under his eyes too. You’re getting to him, alright. He just won’t give in. Yeah, on reflection I think Heidi is the weak link in this situation. It’ll be a few days, though. It’s just Wednesday night.”

“I’ve waited this long,” Nora said. “I can wait a little while longer.”

Chapter Nine

“No way!” Heidi Millar said.

“Way!” Carla Johnson told her.

They were standing in a corner of the Egret Pointe Wine Shoppe. All around them were wine-racked shelves holding bottles of everything from Long Island, upstate

New York, and California vintages to wines from Chile, Australia, and Germany, as well as the finest French Burgundies, Bordeaux, Merlots, and Chardonnays available. There was a popular California table wine known locally as Two-Buck Chuck, and an Opici California Barbarone that retailed for fifteen dollars a gallon jug. There was something for everyone at the Egret Pointe Wine Shoppe.

“It’s not possible,” the younger woman said. “You must be hallucinating. What the hell do you people smoke out here?” Her blond hair was darker than it had been in June. She obviously wasn’t keeping it up for whatever reason.

“Look, I don’t pretend to understand it,” Carla said low. “All I know is that it works. The Channel offers you whatever fantasy you want. Just think about it, turn on the television, and it’s there. You’re there. I am not nuts, and this is the best-kept secret among the women here. We can’t all be hallucinating, and incidentally I don’t smoke anything. Never started.”

Heidi’s grey eyes were thoughtful, curious. “What’s your fantasy?” she murmured.

“I’m Captain Raven, the pirate queen,” Carla responded.

Heidi snickered. She couldn’t help it. “You’re kidding, right?”

Carla smiled a slow, wicked smile. “Darling,” she said, “my first mate has a fourteen-inch dick that’s two and a half inches in circumference, and hits my G-spot seven times out of ten. No, I’m not kidding.”

“Fourteen inches?” Heidi’s voice was awed. “You measured?”

“Yep,” Carla drawled. “Look, so you’re not into pirate fantasies. I’ve got one friend who does the penthouse, hot lover, and hot masseur thing. She enjoys threesomes. Another who puts herself in the forefront of carving out the nation of Israel. She made her partner a younger version of her husband. She’s not a woman who would ever think of another man. One gal I know likes to do other women. She wouldn’t do it in her own reality. The Channel lets you be anything you want to be, and do anything you want to do. Don’t you have a fantasy you want to live out? You can’t be just about marrying Jeff Buckley, honey. There must be something naughty or wonderful that you want to do, and without him. That’s the great thing about The Channel, and that’s why no men are aware of it. It’s all about women and their desires, their needs. Sort of like a grown-up tree house club. And No Boys Allowed. Except the ones we create in our imaginations.”

“And you get it by just calling the cable company and asking for it?” Heidi’s look was thoughtful.

“Yeah,” Carla said. Easy, now. She’s hooked. Reel her in slowly.

“Does it show up on the cable bill? Jeff goes over everything,” Heidi explained.

“Shows up as a movie,” Carla told her.

“You’ve been pulling my leg, right?” Heidi said suddenly. “I mean you’re Nora’s best friend, Jeff says. This is a joke, right? Why would you be nice to me?”

“Listen, honey,” Carla told the girl, “no one is mad at you. Jeff and Nora haven’t had a marriage in years. One day one of them was going to decide it was divorce time. None of us ever really liked Jeff. We put up with him for Nora’s sake on the rare occasions he showed up. Yeah, Nora’s my best friend. I don’t deny it. But even she doesn’t hold you responsible for what’s happened, although you really should have kept your mouth shut at J. J.’s graduation party, but that’s in the past.

“You’re stuck out here every weekend until Jeff puts the house on the market. You’re bored. Jeff bring his Viagra this time?” she queried, and wisely refrained from grinning when Heidi shook her head in the negative. “So he’s probably going to hit the sack early again tonight. And there you are watching The District. Rick will be snoozing early too. Men are like bears in winter. They like to hibernate. As for me, I’ll be downstairs in my sewing and crafts room in the cellar. Or at least my body will. The body I possess in The Channel will be getting its little self fucked to pieces by that nice fourteen-inch dick that Caleb Snow possesses, and wields so skillfully.”

“I still think you’re kidding,” Heidi said, but she sounded less convinced than she had earlier.

“Look, call the cable company, and ask for The Channel. If I’m joking, they won’t know what you’re talking about,” Carla said. “But if they tell you you’ve got it from eight p.m. on, then you know I’m not joking.”

“It could be something totally different than you say it is. Pets. Or decorating.” Heidi shifted her weight nervously.

“And it could be just what I’ve told you, which it is. If it isn’t, and you’re unhappy, I’ll talk to Rick about letting Jeff put the house on the market sooner. That’s fair, isn’t it?” Carla gave her companion a little smile.

“I could say I got it and didn’t like it, and you’d never know,” Heidi replied.

“I don’t believe you’d do that,” Carla responded. “I think you’d play fair.”

Heidi nodded. “Yes, I would. Besides, I really am curious to see if this channel of yours exists.”

“What’s your fantasy?” Carla probed gently, casually reaching for a bottle of red wine from Long Island.