Page 74 of The Amber Sunburst

“Kallias,” he half-whispers. He doesn’t really know why he says it. If Kallias wanted to speak he would. But his face is so hollow. Like he needs a reminder to exist in his own body.

Kallias tilts his head until they make eye contact, and now that they’re less than a foot apart and staring into each other’s eyes Alexander realizes that he was wrong.

Hollow was the wrong word to describe Kallias’ expression. The boy in front of him is haunted. It’s a look he’s never seen on Kallias’ face before—one he’s never seen on anyone’s face before.

It’s the look of someone held at gunpoint and told to smile. The look of someone on their knees, begging to nobody. The look of someone with nothing to lose, too scared to gain.

And, oh.

Oh no.

Something is wrong.

Something has been, he thinks, the whole time. Whatever it is that Kallias has been hiding hasn’t just been weighing on him, it’s been killing him.

And now Alexander can see it in those beautiful onyx eyes framed by shining lashes, those golden brows furrowed in something far more tender than a scowl. There are bruises on his throat. Why are there bruises on his throat?

It’s not until Alexander exhales that he realizes he’s been holding his breath.

And just that puff of air is enough to release the pent-up energy. Kallias’ eyes go back to the stacks and take his secrets with them. The tension in the room dissipates until it’s just two twenty-two-year-old boys sitting at a table wondering what to do.

“Sorry I was so late,” Kallias sighs, still turned away.

Alexander hums.

“I got held up and I wasn’t watching the clock and I just—well I came down anyway. Because I thought maybe—because I needed to…” Kallias trails off with a frustrated exhale.

“Needed to what?” Alexander asks gently.

“I don’t—” Kallias shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“What does that⁠—”

“I think it’s time to go to sleep,” Kallias interrupts in a mockery of his normal tone. It’s a surprise that Alexander’s not sure what to do with. Kallias just got here, and now he’s leaving? He finally looked at Alexander without his mask and he wants him to forget?

“Kallias.”

“I’m just tired. You should be too, after today.”

He watches Kallias sling his bag back over his shoulder and tries to smile when Kallias gives him a two-finger salute. As Kallias walks away, Alexander notices his gait is strange.

And then something comes over him. Something that combines all the cryptic secrets and guarded glances and strange habits. Something that shouts, I need to protect him and I can’t bear to leave him at the same time.

Call it an instinct, a need, a moment of clarity. But before Alexander can think about it he blurts, “Come with me.”

Kallias stops in front of the door, the torches in the stairway rendering him entirely in shadow. Alexander’s not sure if he’s even breathing.

“When I leave,” he continues, “come with me.”

Moments pass—seconds that could be hours that could be days that could be seconds again.

In the end, Kallias doesn’t say anything.

He walks away and closes the door behind him.

And Alexander doesn’t follow. He knows Kallias doesn’t want him to.

When Alexander stumbles down the spiral stairs at twelve thirty the next night, he expects the bottom step to be empty, Kallias scared away for good.