Page 121 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

Lauren’s head shoots up and she fixes my sister with a look so cold it makes me shiver. ‘You!’ she says. ‘You killed him.’

Antoinette lets out a sharp breath. ‘Yes. Because he would’ve killed all of us.’

‘He wouldn’t have hurt me.’ Lauren is shaking her head. ‘He loved me.’

My sister snorts. ‘He was a psychopath. He didn’t love anyone. You were just useful to him. An accessory.’

‘Antoinette!’ I say. ‘That’s enough.’

Whatever their relationship was like, Lauren has lost the man she loved and Antoinette’s blunt truths are not what she needs right now.

‘You could’ve just … I don’t know … called the police or something.’ Lauren’s voice is high-pitched with distress now.

‘He’d have gone to prison,’ Antoinette says.

Lauren’s body shudders. ‘I’d rather visit him in prison than in a fucking cemetery.’ I risk putting my arms around her, half expecting her to shake me off. But she doesn’t. She sort of melts into me. I can feel the fight, the anger leaving her body as the truth sinks in.

‘I didn’t know him,’ she whispers. ‘All that time we were together and I didn’t know him at all. How could I not know?’ She pulls back again and looks at me. ‘That’s what everyone is going to want to know, isn’t it? How could I not have known what he was up to? But I didn’t. I swear.’

‘It’s okay,’ I say, stroking her hair as she collapses back into me. I can feel her tears soaking through my top. ‘It’s okay.’

‘Kitty? Antoinette?’

It’s Charlie’s voice.

Relief floods through me as he appears in what’s left of the door, Agnes at his side. They both stop in their tracks when they see the chaos of the cabin. The blood, Travis, Lauren trembling beside me.

Charlie hurries over to me and I throw myself into his arms, breathing him in like he’s clean air and I’ve been deprived.

‘Thank God,’ I whisper into his chest.

He pulls back and cups my face, his eyes searching, looking for any sign I’ve been harmed.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ I say.

His eyes linger on my face for a beat then, seemingly satisfied that I’m all right, he turns to Antoinette. ‘You?’

‘Hello, stranger. Nice to have you back on board. We can talk about the appalling way you treated my sister later,’ she says. But then the bravado evaporates and I see her shoulders sag. ‘I’m okay. I’m alive.’

Agnes moves towards my sister, relief all over her face, but then Lauren lets out a broken whimper from behind me. Agnes stalls, her eyes flicking between them. She’s torn and doesn’t know who to go to. Lauren, her best friend of years. Or Antoinette, whom she’s hardly known for any time at all but obviously cares about. Lauren, who’s just discovered her boyfriend is a violent serial killer. Or Antoinette, who’s been kidnapped and held hostage for days.

Lauren makes the decision for her in the end and throws herself into Agnes’s arms, where she crumbles again.

‘It’s okay, honey,’ Agnes says. ‘I’ve got you.’

Lauren lifts her head and looks at her friend, her expression is raw grief.

‘He did this,’ she says. ‘It was him. Cort.’

Agnes strokes Lauren’s head. ‘I know. I know.’ Her eyes flick to Antoinette and they have another one of their wordless conversations. Then she looks back to Lauren. ‘I’m here. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.’

‘Let’s get her out of here,’ I say.

We make our way out to the cars. I look back, one last time, at Travis. A fist squeezes my heart.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I whisper before Charlie takes my arm and leads me to the SUV.