Page 61 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

‘It’s just,’ she fiddles with her fingers, avoiding my eyes, ‘you were sort of struggling a bit with yoga this morning.’

‘I was not!’ I say. ‘It was fine. It was just very, very early.’

‘No shame,’ Antoinette says. ‘I’m just saying that maybe you could sit this one out. If you felt like it.’

‘I do not feel like it,’ I snap. ‘I can cope with an exercise class.’

‘Okay then. If you’re sure …’

I don’t like the way she tails off. ‘I am.’

‘Hi, ladies, I hear you’d like to join us here at Flexual Healing,’ a voice suddenly booms, echoing around the reception area. It’s followed by the appearance of a man who I assume must be Zane. He’s wearing a sweat-stained T-shirt with the words ‘WOD Warrior’ on it, shorts that are so short they’re borderline obscene and a beard that looks like it takes longer to style than my actual hair. His arms are tattooed and big. ‘Indigo here tells me that you’re CrossFit pros from the UK?’ The desk troll gives us a sardonic smile.

Of course he’s called Indigo.

I’m beginning to wonder if overplaying our CrossFit prowess may have been a mistake.

But Antoinette is not backing down.

‘Yes,’ she’s saying, giving me a barely noticeable side-eye, ‘we absolutely love it. We love it so much that we just had to find somewhere out here.’

Zane is nodding. ‘That’s great,’ he says. ‘In fact, I’m just about to start a session. Why don’t you come and join in? I can see you’re dressed for it.’ He turns and walks through a door that I fear will lead to this ‘session’. Antoinette gamely trots along behind him. It seems there’s nothing for me to do apart from follow too. It feels like I’m heading to the gallows.

I swear I hear Indigo on reception laugh.

One hour later and I think I’m about to die. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to stand. It hurts to exist. I think my bones have all turned to liquid and I have no idea how I’m going to drive home. There don’t seem to be any messages being relayed from my brain to my legs.

‘That was great!’ Antoinette is saying, unaware of my imminent death. ‘What a buzz. I feel so strong.’ How nice it must be to be twenty years old and have muscles that don’t scream at you when you try to utilise them.

‘Great class, Antoinette,’ Zane is saying, visibly impressed with my sister. He looks at me. ‘And Kitty. Well, that was … something.’

It was.

Something awful.

He walks – well, he walks, I sort of waddle – us back through to the reception, where Indigo gives Antoinette a look of respect and me one of pity.

‘Are you going to sign up?’ Indigo asks my sister with more animation in his voice than I’ve heard.

‘Yes!’ she says. ‘I loved it. Best feeling ever.’

Indigo passes an iPad to her and points out the sections she needs to click on to be a fully signed-up member of this cult.

‘I don’t think I’m going to,’ I say.

Indigo gives me a hard look. ‘I didn’t ask you.’

Ouch.

I think I’ve just been rejected from Flexual Healing.

35

Kitty and Antoinette’s Airbnb, West Hollywood, Los Angeles

‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay?’ I ask Antoinette the next morning. She’s getting ready to head back to Flexual Healing, where she’s going to hang out until Aidan Ward turns up again. Which won’t be long, judging by his new physique. And when he does, she’s going to use her feminine wiles to lure him back here. And … well … that’s when I get to have my turn with him. The only thing is I’m starting to worry that using her as bait is stupid and dangerous. This is a man who attacked a woman so viciously that we almost didn’t think Tor would pull through. Am I a monster for asking my sister to put herself in a potentially dangerous position?

‘I’m fine,’ she says as she pulls her hair up into a ponytail and checks her make-up in the mirror in her room. I’m sitting on her bed watching her, anxiety doing backflips in my gut.