Page 76 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

‘What?’ I say. ‘It hasn’t affected me. Not at all.’

Antoinette gives me a look. ‘Oh, really?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Do you think it’s normal behaviour to kick a man in the balls when he kisses you?’

Oh. She’s talking about Travis.

‘Well, no,’ I say, ‘obviously not.’

‘No, Kitty. It’s a trauma response. You had a horrible, traumatic experience and your body reacted to it. And when I saw Richard Stone touching you like that my body reacted. Because I wanted to protect you. Because I didn’t want you having another panic attack like you did with Travis.’

Protect me? Like I’m some fucking damsel in distress.

‘Well, that was very gallant,’ I say, anger bubbling up inside me. ‘But I really don’t need you jumping in to defend me!’

‘But Kitty—’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to hear it. Your recklessness is going to get us caught. I’ve already spoken to you about this but it doesn’t seem to be getting through, does it?’

‘I was just—’

I hold up my hand. ‘Stop. I’m starting to think it was a mistake bringing you out here. I’ve been doing this on my own and it’s been fine. Now you’re involved and there’s a dead movie star and a woman beater in the basement. And now there’s a dead producer and some Final Destination fucking accident that we have to hope people believe.’ I let out an exasperated sigh. ‘I should’ve done this alone. I could be home by now.’

Antoinette swallows hard. She looks like she might be about to cry. ‘Well, let’s just finish Aidan Ward off now and you can go home,’ she says. ‘We can both get on with our lives.’

I stare at her. ‘Oh no,’ I say. ‘You’re not having anything to do with killing that man.’ I jerk my chin towards the cellar door. ‘He’s the reason we’re here and I’m not having you mess that up.’

‘What? But I—’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I’m killing Aidan Ward by myself. You’re a liability, Antoinette, and I’m not going to risk you fucking this up.’

She stares back at me and I wonder if she is actually going to cry. But then her eyes narrow and she says in a voice cold as steel, ‘Fine. I’ll just get out of your hair then.’ She turns away from me and walks out of the room. A few seconds later I hear the front door slam shut.

Great.

A tantrum.

Just what I need.

I don’t go after her. She’ll cool off.

Besides, I meant what I said. I want to kill Aidan Ward alone. And what better time than now? The sooner it’s done, the sooner I can get on a plane and get home. I can’t wait to tell Tor it’s done and she can finally rest, knowing the man who hurt her will never be able to do it again. The look on her face when she knows it’s over will be worth all this. Also, it means I can get back to Charlie. I’m sure if I plead my case to him properly he’ll understand. I’m still me. And he loved me once. You can’t just turn those feelings off. I miss him so much. I’d do anything to have him here right now, to be able to poke my finger into that adorable dimple he has in his cheek. Urgh. I need to stop thinking about Charlie.

I need to focus on Aidan Ward for now.

First I grab some duct tape – I can’t risk anyone hearing his screams as I murder him – and then I pull a knife out of the knife block and examine it. It’s a MAC Professional chef’s knife. Not my knife of choice but sharp and lightweight. I swoosh it about a bit and make some stabbing motions.

It will do.

The basement is dark and Aidan Ward blinks a few times when I switch the light on. He’s huddled into a corner, as far away from the LV cases as he can get. I’m not surprised. It’s starting to smell a bit down here. My stomach does a roll of protest.

‘I thought you were going to leave me to die down here,’ he says. His voice is little more than a croak. He must be really thirsty. Good. He can stay that way.

‘And miss out on all the fun of killing you myself?’ I hold the knife up and his eyes widen. ‘Don’t be silly.’

‘Can I have some water?’