Page 9 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

‘But isn’t it empowering to have the choice?’

‘No! Not when that so-called empowerment is linked to how much money you can make from sexualising yourself! And it’s still patriarchy. It’s for the male gaze and all these sites are owned by men, marketed to men.’

Antoinette is shaking her head. ‘That’s where PrivatePool is different,’ she says. ‘It was set up by women in LA who were sick of male-dominated business models. I’ve been doing my research.’

‘It’s still catering to the male gaze,’ I grumble but Antoinette waves me off.

‘Anyway,’ she says, ‘it’s pissed off one man so much that he’s going around killing women creating content on the site.’ She looks at me, her face flushed with anger. Or is it excitement? ‘This is perfect for us!’

‘Is it?’

‘Yes!’ she says. ‘We should find him. And kill him!’

I think for a moment. Someone out there killing women simply for the choices they make about their own lives is exactly the sort of man I wouldn’t hesitate in tracking down and disposing of in London. But it feels a bit different out here. I don’t have access to my family’s abattoirs, for one thing. And I learned in France that getting rid of bodies without those isn’t the easiest thing in the world. I haven’t even worked out what I’m going to do with Aidan Ward’s body once I’ve found and killed him. I also really want to get back to London as quickly as possible so getting involved in a hunt for a serial killer feels … messy.

‘I don’t know,’ I say. ‘I think the police might be better dealing with this one.’ Even though I don’t have any more faith in the US justice system than I do the British one. Any systems designed by men are essentially designed for men, after all.

But Antoinette is shaking her head again. ‘That’s the thing though,’ she says. ‘The police aren’t even acknowledging that there’s a killer!’

‘What do you mean?’

‘They’re not admitting that there’s a serial killer,’ she says as she takes the iPad from me and scrolls. ‘It’s Redditors that have connected all the dots.’

True-crimers.

She’s talking about true-crimers.

Well, that sorts that dilemma out for me.

I’m not about to start a wild goose chase looking for a serial killer that exists only in the minds of some chronically online mouth-breathers who should probably just get jobs or something.

‘Redditors. Right,’ I say.

‘No, no! It’s not like that,’ Antoinette says and shoves the iPad back under my nose. ‘Look, there have been at least four women found dead in the area in the last eighteen months. No one has been charged with their murders.’

I know this is by no means a shocking statistic and doesn’t even begin to point to a serial killer. Almost three women are killed by an intimate partner every single day in America.

‘Why do they even think it’s a serial killer and not run-of-the-mill male violence?’

‘This is where it gets really interesting,’ Antoinette says. ‘Every single one of the dead women had PrivatePool accounts. The police haven’t said anything about this anywhere but everyone in this sub has been investigating.’

‘Let me see,’ I say, taking the iPad from her so I can take a closer look at the open Reddit page.

Potential Serial Killer in West Hollywood?

U/underdarkskies

Hey, have you guys heard about the serial killer in Hollywood? Four dead women in less than eighteen months and all of them PrivatePool creators. Too much of a coincidence atp. What do you think? Is there a WeHo Ripper?

U/pinklemonade

Haha yeah. Someone is ending those hoes.

U/edemamemama

It’s like when that dude was killing homeless people on Skid Row. Prolly think he’s doing society a favour or something.

U/redpillplease