Page 38 of Not a Word

“Taking?” He laughed. “Taking?”

“Whatever it is, you need to let it get out of your system, to come down from this. I understand wanting to go away. I’d love to run away from all this, but we can’t just pack up and go on a—”

“Of course we can,” he said, pointing a finger at her. “That’s always been your problem. You’re wrapped up too tight. Come on. This is exactly what we need. Both of us. Put all this shit behind us, forget about it, start over.”

“You can never start over.”

“Why not?” He said it in a pleading, desperate tone. “Clean slate. It’s exactly what we need to do.”

“If only that were possible. We can’t run from our problems.”

Holden suddenly became quiet, focused. “How is that any different than burying them? Hasn’t that always been your policy?”

“You need help, Holden.”

“Help?”

“You’re in shock. I’m in shock. Your father . . . what he was doing, what he did, it’s unimaginable, and we may never come to terms with it. But we have to figure out how to deal with it, and sailing away on some cruise isn’t the answer. Maybe one day, when you’re not in the shape you’re in now, maybe that’s something we should do. But not now, not today. I’m deeply worried about you.”

“I’m fine, honestly. Actually, seeing you right now, pretty great.”

“There’s something I have to know.”

His eyes were darting about the room, as though following an invisible fly.

“Holden, I need you to look at me.”

He tried to focus on his mother. “Yeah.”

“You didn’t break your promise, did you?”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Holden, please. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“No,” he said firmly, acknowledging he did, indeed, understand her meaning. “No, I wouldn’t do that.”

“Because . . . there have been some strange developments lately.”

“Yeah, well, no kidding.”

“I don’t mean what happened today. Before today.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve had some phone calls,” she said.

“What do you mean, phone calls? From who?”

“Anonymous phone calls. From someone who seems to know things they couldn’t possibly know.”

Holden shook his head furiously. “Don’t look at me. You think I’m nuts?”

She didn’t want to answer that one directly. “Well, someone had to have said something.”

Holden’s face lit up. “Dad.”

“What about your dad?”