Page 111 of I’m The Worst

My hot, pumping blood turns to ice.

I pull out in the next second. Her asshole is red, swollen, gaping. I stare at it, chest heaving, cock still throbbing, my brain split between fury and disbelief.

I can’t stop seeing it. Can’t stop thinking about how I just⁠—

She yanks herself out from underneath me.

“NO! I didn’t say it! I didn’t say the safeword! Keep fucking me!”

She scrambles toward me, eyes wild, cheeks red and tear stained.

I don’t move.

I just stare at her, body still wired, but my head is fucked.

“What…?” The word barely comes out. I stare at her, trying to make it make sense, but it doesn’t. None of it does. “Are you not saying the safeword…because you think I won’t fuck you if you do?”

She looks up at me. And for the first time, I can’t read her. Her gaze drops instead. To the bed. To what I did to her.

Something cold trickles down my spine.

The phone vibrates on the nightstand.

I don’t even look at it.

My hands drag through my hair, gripping hard enough to hurt, trying to anchor myself, but it’s not working. Images hit me—fast, violent.

Every time.

Every fucking time we’ve fucked. The way she went quiet. The way she looked at me.

“AJ. Answer the goddamn question.”

She doesn’t speak.

Doesn’t do anything.

The room closes in; it’s too fucking small. My chest feels like it’s caving in on itself.

“How many times… How many times have you not used it?”

Nothing.

Just tears and fucking silence.

I step back like I’ve been punched in the gut.

“You let me… You just let me keep going.” My hands don’t know what to do—fists clenching, unclenching; I need to break something, or I’m going to come out of my skin. “That’s not how this fucking works! You use it when you need it! That’s the whole fucking point!”

She flinches but doesn’t argue. Doesn’t say anything. Just stands before me, shaking and crying.

And that, somehow, that’s worse.

Way fucking worse.

My stomach roils, and I drag in a breath, but it doesn’t fill my lungs.

I don’t do that.