Page 135 of I’m The Worst

“When we get out, I’m teaching you how to swim first.”

The footsteps get louder.

My breathing spikes again.

“Hey. Stay with me.”

I force myself to focus on the rhythm beneath my palm.

“You’ll like it there. Water’s so clear, you can see straight to the bottom. We’ll stay there all day. Forever if you want.”

My breathing finally starts slowing enough that I don’t feel like I’m dying.

“That’s it. Just focus on my heartbeat.”

I focus on him, on the steady rhythm beneath my hand, on his voice. On the lie we both pretend to believe.

Opening my eyes, I meet Jake’s staring back at me, his dirty-blond hair hanging in his bruised face.

“Remember what I told you.” He squeezes my fingers one last time. “Wolves survive…”

“Wolff?”

I blink hard, the basement finally dissolving as I look down at AJ curled against my side, her hand still resting over my heart, eyes heavy with sleep. I grab her wrist and move her hand away from the center of my chest. Away from my heart. Away from the memories clawing their way up my fucking throat.

“Will you teach⁠—”

“It was something my brother taught me,” I admit before I can stop myself.

Instant fucking regret.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.”

I stare back at the ceiling, muscles locking tight while rain hammers against the tiny porthole beside the bed. The ship groans around us, but all I can hear is chains rattling and kids crying in the dark.

I can still feel Jake’s heartbeat against my palm.

Still hear the boots on the stairs.

“Where is he?”

“Dead.”

I keep my eyes locked on the ceiling, willing the memories to get the fuck out of my head, but they keep bleeding through. My skull feels like it’s splitting behind my eyes. I drag a hand down my face, rough palm scraping through my beard while AJ stays quiet beside me for once.

Miranda’s voice echoes through my head anyway.

We missed you at Jake’s funeral.

I was busy—I lied.

I didn’t miss his funeral.

I stood across the cemetery in the rain, watching Jake’s casket be lowered into the ground beside four other headstones.

Our siblings.

Who I killed.