Page 198 of I’m The Worst

He raped me.

I can’t even bring myself to say the word out loud. Not even in my head without flinching. He gave me a safeword. The one thing no one had ever given me before. Even when he hurt me, even when he pushed me away like I was nothing, he still gave me that one small piece of control.

And then he took it.

Gage’s hands curl into fists against his thighs. “Fuck. Okay. Fine. We’ll figure it out. We’ll find the son of a bitch who did this.”

David’s voice explodes from the hallway. “I don’t give a fuck what your protocol is. I tell you what the protocol is.” He sounds furious in a way I’ve never heard before.

Gage scrubs a hand over his face. “Yeah. That’s been happening pretty much nonstop. He hasn’t left. Only time he steps out is to scream at staff or make calls. Dad’s been on a rampage too.”

A second later, David appears in the doorway.

He’s not wearing one of his usual pressed suits. Just dark jeans and a black hoodie, his hair slightly out of place, his jaw shadowed with stubble.

His eyes land on me instantly, and everything in his face changes. The anger disappears, replaced by something quieter. Something almost…human.

“You’re awake,” he says on an exhale.

Gage pushes to his feet. “I’ll give you two a minute.”

“Stay if she wants you to.”

Gage looks at me, clearly ready to tell David to go fuck himself if I so much as blink wrong, but I’m too tired to deal with both of them hovering over me.

“It’s okay. You can go.”

He hesitates, then nods. “I’ll be right outside.”

David drags the chair closer to the bed. He sits, but for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me. Then he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair off my forehead.

I go rigid.

His hand stills for half a second before he lets it fall back into his lap. “I’m sorry.”

He takes a slow breath and leans forward, bracing his forearms on his knees. “I know you hate me. And I’ve given you every reason to. We’re practically strangers, AJ.”

The use of my nickname catches me off guard.

“I know what this looks like from your side,” he says. “A man you barely know forcing you into a marriage you never asked for. Pushing you toward a life you don’t want. Talking about children, expectations, and appearances like you’re some piece of a business transaction instead of a person who’s barely survived the last few months.”

He pauses, looking down at his hands. “I never wanted to be a Commander. I liked the field. I liked knowing where I stood. Kill the target, finish the mission, move on. It was simple.” He lets out a quiet breath. “Then my father died and, suddenly, I inherited a title I never asked for, a seat at a table I never wanted, and a thousand expectations attached to my name.”

Swallowing roughly, he looks back at me. “That’s not an excuse for the way I’ve treated you. But I think somewhere along the line, I started acting like if I could just control everything around me—my section, my future, my marriage—then maybe none of it would feel so far out of my hands.” His mouth hardens. “And you got caught in the middle of that.”

Three days ago, he was impossible to be around. Now he’s sitting beside my hospital bed in a hoodie, looking wrecked, telling me things that sound dangerously close to honesty.

“You could have died, AJ. I hate that it took almost losing you for me to realize how badly I’ve been doing this. All I can think about is the fact that the last time we spoke, I was being a fucking bastard.”

My eyes sting.

“I don’t need you to like me. I’m not arrogant enough to ask for that right now. But we are each other’s future, whether either of us likes it or not, and I’m willing to try if you are.” He pauses as his gaze searches my face. “Really try.”

I don’t say anything.

“I won’t pressure you anymore. Not about the wedding. Not about children. Not about any of it. No more appointments sprung on you. No more acting like your life is something I’m entitled to manage.” His eyes hold mine. “If you want space, you get space. If you want time, you get time. If you want to call the whole thing off…” For the first time, something in his expression looks almost raw. “Then we’ll talk about that too.”

I inhale a shaky breath.