Page 10 of How My Fake Alien Boyfriend Learned to Cook and Saved the Family Business

“…get back here now. Over.”

I had let my mind wander a little too much as I stepped through the spongy dirt and sharp grasses. I lost track of exactly what Sel had said about seven insults ago, and I’d only caught the last part.

Get back here.

My colleague was not going to like what I had to tell her.

“As much as I would love to return to our planet”—I bit my lip and steeled my nerves for the admission—“I’m not quite sure where I’ve landed.”

The comms deck crackled, but was otherwise silent. I wondered if Sel had heard me, or if I would have to repeat that humiliating confession.

Another crackle of static, then: “You have to say ‘over’ when you’re done speaking. And what do you mean you don’t know where you’ve landed? If no other destination is given, those pod models are programmed to always land in Roswell, New Mexico. The destination doesn’t change unless you change it. Even you wouldn’t be dumb enough to do that. Over.”

New Mexico. I slapped a hand to my forehead. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten it was in New Mexico. But if the pod was pre-programmed to land there, why had mine even asked for a destination? Or perhaps I was near Roswell, but the ship went off course during landing.

I leaned my head back and let the sun warm my face. The comms deck buzzed expectantly.

It was strange. I couldn’t shake the feeling that despite the crash landing, despite not knowing exactly where I was, despite the angry coworker likely plotting my termination on the other end of the comms, for the first time in a long time, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Wherever that was.

And because of that, I realized that even Sel’s bad attitude couldn’t ruin my good mood or take away from the feeling. Being on Earth was temporary; I wanted to experience every moment.

“I might have changed the destination accidentally,” I said at last, breaking the silence.

Moments passed without a response when I remembered to add, “Over.”

“I cannot believe this! First day out of the admin pool and you’ve already created a new disaster for us to clean up. You need to figure out where you are immediately so we can send someone to collect you. If the Bureau has to send a search and rescue team to extract you, we’ll both be in big trouble.”

My shoe scraped against rough ground, and I realized I had reached the edge of the meadow and stepped onto the hard surface of a road. Heat emanated from the blacktop in waves, enough to negate the potency of the cool breeze.

The road ran like a dark ribbon through the landscape, bordered by rolling hills and towers of trees. To my left, I spotted what looked to be a sign. I jogged across the road, just close enough to read it.

“Now entering Roswell Falls, Tennessee. Population: 807.”

I remembered the one-sided conversation I’d had with the pod computer. Somehow, it had interpreted my request for Roswell as Roswell Falls. An entirely unfamiliar location, and sparsely populated compared to typical Xaerean outposts. Not ideal, but it was an answer. Something I could report back to Sel.

I lifted the comms deck and spoke as calmly as I could. “Sel, I think I might know exactly where I’ve landed. Over.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Spit it out. Over.”

“I’m in a place called Roswell Fa—”

HONK-HONK-HOOOOOONK!

An earsplitting sound startled me enough to jump in surprise. I whipped around to find a large vehicle with a facade like a monster—silver teeth and shining horns—barreling straight toward me. On instinct, I leaped to the side of the road into a patch of overgrown vegetation, crouching low as the vehicle whipped past in a surge of hot air. I was safe, but the comms deck had slipped from my hand during my escape, flying through the air until finally landing with a sharp, definitive crack.

I cringed from my spot on the ground. Xaerean technology was made from high-quality materials, I reminded myself. The stuff that lasted. Surely, anyone with sense would have designed a comms deck that could endure a short fall.

But when I reemerged to collect the comms deck, it was broken, crushed into pieces. I picked up the pieces one by one and deposited them in my pack.

Sel was not going to be happy about this at all. Cut off from all communication, signal lost. It meant they would absolutely have to send a search and rescue crew to find me.

But also...I didn’t care.

It was my first time on Earth and very likely my last. The place I had always dreamed of visiting, and I was here in the flesh.

It quickly became clear to me that if this was the only time I would get to experience the world as humans did, I wanted to take my time.