Page 48 of How My Fake Alien Boyfriend Learned to Cook and Saved the Family Business

Lola sighed heavily. “Of course, Darlene. I should probably close up for the day anyway. I’m…really sorry.” She didn’t elaborate, but Darlene seemed to understand.

“That’s okay, sugar,” Darlene said. “You’re trying your best, and we can all see it. Your grandma would be proud of you.”

As soon as Darlene’s back was turned, Lola tugged at the mixing bowl again. “Give me that,” she insisted, finally wrestling it from my grasp and plucking the utensil from my hand.

“You were holding the whisk upside down anyway,” she added in a grumble.

“You shouldn’t be doing that,” I said, circling the counter to come face-to-face with Lola. Now I was beginning to feel frustrated with Lola. I knew humans could be stubborn, but not like this.

“I can’t stop,” Lola said. “I don’t have time to stop. Maybe I could if you weren’t h—” Lola stopped short, but not before I could figure out exactly what she was trying to say.

If you weren’t here.

Of course. Lola didn’t need me here. I was getting in the way, like I always did. I’d already caused her pain, and now I was causing her more.

I could feel my suit growing tight and itchy again as my breathing turned shallow. Suddenly, that all too familiar feeling from working in the Exploratory Unit came back. Of being a nuisance, a hindrance. Kal, the screwup.

I watched for a second more as she stirred angrily, her teeth clenched tight.

Fine. If being alone was what Lola needed, I could give her that. It wasn’t the first time a coworker had asked me to leave them alone. And based on my experience, it wouldn’t be the last. I turned toward the office, where I could take refuge.

“Kal, wait—”

I heard Lola call after me as I walked away to give her space. I didn’t stop, and she didn’t come after me.

No one ever did.

I felt sorry for myself, and I was wallowing in self-pity. I was ashamed that I’d hurt Lola, and it hurt that she didn’t want my help. She was pushing me away, just like everyone else always had.

No one wants you. The words repeated in my mind. No one wants you on Xaerea or on Earth.

My suit was too unbearably uncomfortable. Uselessly, I scratched at the exterior, but the discomfort grew until I was doubled over with it. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I...I…

I can’t get out of this blasted suit.

With fumbling hands, I grappled with the skin of my suit until finally, thankfully, my finger pressed the button to unfasten it. I ripped the material from my head and let it slip off my arms and hang awkwardly at my waist.

My tentacles stretched out around me, regaining feeling, before I wrapped them around my arms and middle. I hugged myself tightly like that until I could regulate my breathing. I don’t know how long it took, but when I felt like myself again, I opened my eyes.

And that’s when I saw the strangest thing: a picture of a little brown-green creature with words scrawled across. It said “Do or do not. There is no try.”

I repeated those words over in my head, letting them trip and tumble until they slipped smoothly into my consciousness.

Do or do not. There is no try.

There is no try? But all I did was try. My whole life had been a series of trying and failing. I’d tried to make friends but fell short. I’d tried to advance in my job, but ended up ruining my chances. And, more than anything, I’d tried to be normal, to be accepted for who I really was.

My tentacles loosened and unfurled around me.

Do or do not.

A tentacle moved to my hair, brushing tendrils away from my face as I stared at the words, attempted to make sense of them.

There is no try.

Another tentacle flitted behind me, reaching for the desk as I tried not to lose my balance. The tip of my appendage landed against something small and familiar. I picked the recipe book up and cradled it in my hands.

Reading the title gave me an idea. One that might not work. In fact, the idea probably would not work, based on my track record. But I was tired of trying so hard to get things right. I was ready to do something right, for a change.