Page 116 of Mile High Heist

One woman with a bloody lip actually scoffed at me, like I was nothing but dead weight.

She was probably right.

Madoc remained as unbothered as always, but I noticed his hands slip out of his pockets, ready for a surprise attack.

None came.

We made it unscathed to the cockpit door. Madoc paused and considered it for a moment, then raised his bloody fist to knock.

“Wait,” I said.

He waited.

I wasn’t ready to jump into the snake pit again. Not so soon after Lucille. The slideshow in my mind’s eye started once more—her glassy eyes, the blood, the gunshot—and I staggered back, shaking my head.

“I…I can’t.”

Madoc stared at me flatly. “You can.”

He didn’t understand. Death was easy to him. Hell, he’d just killed without remorse. Me, on the other hand, I was struggling. Unable to stomach it.

I wondered how much of the blood on the door was Lucille’s. How much more blood would be spilled because of me.

“Madoc,” I choked. His name felt wrong in my mouth. A plea that would always go unanswered.

Madoc moved again.

In two steps, he was in front of me, looming over me. I could smell the blood on him. The sour tang of sweat. I could map the bruises along this throat.

My eyes dragged up against my will, finding deadly green ones. They weren’t soft. They weren’t understanding. I didn’t find any sympathy, nor did I expect to. Not from a creature like him.

What I saw instead was hardness, carved from years of blood and violence. A psychopath with a fondness for mind games.

Anger sparked in my chest. “I’m not like you!” I snapped, shoving my hand against his chest, trying to force some distance. He didn’t budge. “I can’t just turn off my feelings.”

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t have time to hold your hand.”

I glared up at him, even as tears rushed to my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Yes, it is.” He stepped closer, so my hand was trapped between us once more. “You want me to kiss it and make it better. Tell you it will all go away soon.”

“No, I—”

“It won’t. This will stay with you. Forever and ever.”

I winced. Damn him for never sugarcoating anything.

Madoc lifted his hand, causing me to flinch. But he just used it to point at the cockpit door. “You want someone to kiss it better? He’s in there, staring down a loaded gun because of you. He will give up everything because of you. You will not break. Not now. You have not earned the right.” His words dripped with scorn.

God, he was right. I hated that he was always right.

Jax was in danger. Jax had thrown himself into the line of fire, again and again. I couldn’t break now. Not when we were so close to landing the plane.

One last stand.

I couldn’t stop the feelings—the terror, the anger, the overwhelming guilt—but I could swallow them. I could push through and do what he needed me to do.

What Molly needed me to do.