Page 149 of Weight of Guilt

“But that isn’t what God asks us to do.” Luke looked back at him. “There’s guilt that tells you when you’ve done wrong. That kind can lead you somewhere better. Then there’s the kind that keeps dragging you back to something you can’t change.”

The words landed harder than Nash wanted them to.

Luke continued, “You can spend the rest of your life carrying every person you couldn’t save and every decision you wish had gone differently. But eventually that weight gets so heavy that you can’t move forward with the people who still need you.”

Nash looked toward the house. Toward Wren. Toward Mason.

Luke gave his shoulder a brief squeeze. “You’re allowed to learn from the past without living in it.”

Nash swallowed hard, wishing it was that easy. “I’m not sure I know how to do that yet.”

“Neither do most of us.” Luke’s mouth tilted slightly. “Faith usually involves taking the next step before you feel ready.”

For the first time in a long while, Nash felt something inside him loosen.

It didn’t disappear. He wasn’t suddenly healed. He still had Allison. Henry. The shooting. All the choices he’d replayed so many times he could probably recite them in his sleep.

But maybe Luke was right. Maybe carrying the weight forever wasn’t the same thing as taking responsibility.

“Thanks.” Nash’s voice came out raspy.

Luke nodded. “Anytime.”

Nash turned and looked at Wren again. There was still so much they didn’t know.

But she was right. Mason was standing in front of him.

Jacob was still alive, at least for now.

And for the first time in a very long time, Nash wondered if maybe moving forward didn’t require having every answer first.

Maybe it was like Luke said: It only required taking the next step.

Chapter

Seventy

That night, Wren stepped onto the porch of her cabin and pulled the door almost closed behind her.

Almost.

She left it cracked just enough that she could hear if Mason called out.

He was asleep in her bed, curled on his side with the blanket pulled up to his chin. She didn’t want to be more than a few steps away from him.

It had been a long night. She’d barely had a chance to talk to her family, but the little she’d seen Nora had shown her how upset her sister was.

The two of them had hugged. She thought Nora would be okay. But still, this had to be a lot to comprehend.

Nash waited near the porch rail for her—Nash and Tank. “You sure you want company?”

“I am.” She started toward the steps, then stopped.

Across the yard, the main house had gone dark except for the light over the kitchen sink. Someone had stepped onto the back steps and stood there in the dark, facing the woods.

Christian.

He came down the steps and started across the grass toward the cabin.