Page 2 of The Seeker

I hardly recognized myself anymore.

Gaunt Runa was back, my cheeks sunken as I fought to swallow my dinner each night. Dark circles lived under my gold-rimmed brown eyes now, because I couldn’t keep the nightmares at bay. Leif had even gone so far as to cut my brown hair back to the length it had been at when he’d met me, but he’d done it with a dull sword in a moment of anger, leaving the ends choppy and mismatched.

As much as I missed him, I was glad Otho couldn’t see me now.

And with each day that passed, I was more and more certain I didn’t want to see him.

Weighted or not, he wouldn’t want me, not like this. I didn’t even want me anymore. As much as I tried to fight, to remain the brave Runa I’d discovered on the day Adis and Hansen had been killed, I couldn’t seem to find her. She was gone now, leaving only this depressed and empty version of me in her place.

Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t come for me like he’d promised.

My heart ached at that thought. I pushed it away, shoving it in the back of my mind where I’d been sending all my emotions to die. The living bond beneath my skin was hard to ignore, but when you fought every day for basic needs, it grew easier over time. It was like my heart were a puppet and the strings were aging and they could no longer force any movement.

The only joy I felt at my own reflection came from the tattoo inked on my left ribs. The colors stood out against my pale skin, and I couldn’t resist brushing my thumb over the snake design. I missed Collum and Milo.

My heart panged at the thought of Collum. Though I was back in Malheim, I’d been unable to deduce her location. She wasn’t in the room where I’d left her—I checked when I first arrived—and no servants were able to speak of her whereabouts.

I don’t think she survived.

Or if she did, she was once again in hiding.

With a sigh, I left the bathing chamber, emerging in time to observe Leif’s pacing in front of the fireplace, the embers burning low. I needed to find myself, and fast, before I disappeared entirely, and there was nothing left for Otho to come for.

If he ever came for me.

“Runa, my heart,” he cried as he ran over to me, pulling me into his arms. While I once would have shivered in pleasure at the nickname, I was too dead inside to care anymore. I barely felt his arms as they wrapped around me. “What have you been up to today?” he questioned, pulling back so his blue eyes could search my face.

“Reading,” I lied, tilting my head to the side, where a pile of books lay on the dressing-table-turned desk. Leif regularly procured books from the library and left them for me, but they were of no interest to me. They were books about romance, something I no longer believed in. He switched out the pile often, but any book that graced the desk in this room went unread.

But I wasn’t about to tell him I spent my entire day in the bath.

“Excellent, which ones are you finished with? I will bring you more.” His blue eyes sparkled as he spoke, and I wondered for the umpteenth time how he could ignore my obvious plight.

It was like he didn’t know me at all.

But all of the energy to fight had left me.

I held my arm out and motioned to a few of the books. It didn’t matter; I hadn’t read any of them, nor had I lifted any of them up.

Leif moved to the dressing table, and I absentmindedly scratched the AC burned onto the inside of my wrist. The scar had healed, but I still experienced phantom twinges from time to time.

Reminders of a life sacrificed.

Leif spun, his eyes following the movement of my hand. His mood soured instantly, and I felt waves of anger, courtesy of the empathy magic I still possessed.

I took a step back.

“One moment,” he growled, dropping the books with a clatter and stomping out of the room.

I’d thought I’d done it, thought I’d earned peace for the afternoon, but as I pulled on one of my many dresses over my pruned skin, Leif stomped back into the room . . .

A metal bar clutched in his fist.

Ice shot through my veins, and my hands started to shake as they tried to finish lacing up the dress. “Leif,” I breathed. “Please⁠—”

“Adis is dead, and I’m tired of seeing your wrist branded with his name.”

“It’s just his initials,” I clarified, desperate to stop him from what he was about to do.