Page 24 of The Seeker

I was rescuing myself.

CHAPTER 9

Stockpiling poisons, reading on Seid history, and ensuring Leif consumed his love potion each day consumed more of my time than I’d planned. Not to mention the breeding season bloomed into the warm season, and I knew I would have to confess to Leif that I wasn’t pregnant before he came to his own conclusions.

The trust magic had worked wonders, and I had more access to the palace and grounds than ever before. I’d even used it to leave the grounds of the Keep, visiting the market I’d been barred from just a fortnight before.

Although the book I’d found in the library on the Seid was small, it held a large amount of information. Often, I would read one paragraph, then sit and think before continuing on to the next, allowing the information to simmer in my mind as I learned more and more about a history the rulers had tried to bury.

Though attitudes toward the Seid had been unscrupulous for centuries, there was a time when they’d played an important part in society—so important that Seid reading classes were taught in universities, and it was common for all people to learn at least something of the magical language during the course of their lifetime. The Seid often became healers and politicians, magic an important part of their career and lives. Certain Seid even devoted themselves to reading specific types of magic, as it was impossible to read every book in existence. Thus, certain Seid became experts on different aspects of society.

The thing was, I couldn’t deduce what had changed. The book focused on the positive part of Seid history, the rise from an obscure language to one commonly practiced by children in the streets. Though a large portion of society learned to read, it sounded like the books themselves had long been scarce, the scribes that wrote them being of unknown origin and unknown whereabouts. The books merely showed up to be passed around, though the number of books did not keep up nor correlate with population increases.

But as I drew closer to the end of the book, I began to read between the lines.

The fate of the Seid had gone dark as the government in the Heimland changed from one run by village councils to one ruled by viscounts under the unity of a common king.

They’d become afraid of the power of the Seid, of the power to read magic on a whim—the power the Seid held that could allow them to rise up against their new governmental systems.

They’d created a genocide based on perceived negative potential.

My stomach soured, and regret flowed through me at the texts I’d thrown into the fire.

The book came to an end long before the current era, and I was unable to pinpoint exactly when. Almost as if the writer had intended to write more, but had been unable to—the last few pages of the text left blank.

But even as I visited the library over and over, I was unable to find any more books about the Seid. Or any more books containing magic.

The war wasn’t going well, with Malheim losing ground each day. This was lucky for me, as Leif spent more and more time at the front lines and didn’t pressure me to read him anymore powers. Though it didn’t help regarding my confusion toward my feelings for him.

I ached to leave still, but my feelings behind the ache had grown confusing. Did I ache for my brother? Or the last sense of comfort I’d ever felt?

Or did I ache for the man who confessed he was my weighted a season before but had yet to come for me as promised?

I didn’t know the answer, but Otho hadn’t visited my dreams again, and I hadn’t been able to figure out how to discern his location using the information I had on hand.

It might have had something to do with the potion I was taking, as it dulled my magic. I noticed each morning before I took it that the magic felt more alive beneath my skin before drinking my potion and muted afterward.

But it didn’t diminish them entirely and I could still call them, just to a lesser extent. Which is what I needed.

I thought about meditating a third time to try and find Otho, to be able to feel his location as he’d felt mine, but I was afraid of what I would find, now that I knew more about the history of weighted pairs.

I didn’t want to know what he was doing that was more important than keeping his promise to me.

While the book on Seid history had mentioned a bit about weighted pairs, it didn’t explain in exact terms, nor did it give me the answers I sought on how exactly the bond worked.

It didn’t mention anything about the constant, nagging pull I felt in my chest, now that I’d clawed my way out of the shroud of depression I’d spiraled into when I first came to Malheim.

I sat by the water now, head back, eyes closed, the rays of the sun kissing my face, a book opened in my lap. It was a love story, a beautiful one, nothing like the Hel I found myself trapped in.

“Miss?”

The female voice broke my trail of thoughts.

“Hm?” I asked without opening my eyes. Derek was standing somewhere nearby, and I knew he would not allow harm to come to me. I was safe here in the walls of Malheim.

“It’s been a while, miss.”

My eyebrows drew together as I fought to decipher the voice. Finally, I cracked open my eyes, taking in the woman with dark hair and gold-rimmed eyes who stood before me. I squinted, trying to place her. She was dressed as the rest of the female servants, in a plain gray fitted dress and long apron, but her hair was pulled back neatly, indicating she hadn’t worked yet today, or at least not enough for tendrils to escape their clasp.