Page 45 of The Seeker

“Nothing,” I said with a sigh. “I need time to . . . process everything. And I need space . . . like I mentioned before.” I didn’t want to tell him that I still didn’t trust him completely—how could I when he paid a general to join his side—but I now knew that, as always, Otho was only trying to do what he thought was right.

But that didn’t automatically make it right.

“Come here,” he pleaded as he moved to stand, even though we were still embracing. Once he was able to pull me into his chest properly, he tilted my chin to press a chaste kiss to my lips. Although it was nothing compared to the kiss two seasons ago in Ralheim, it was enough to cause a flicker of warmth to awaken in my chest, like a hearth allowed to burn low—one breath away from being extinguished.

We stood there, embracing, until all sounds faded from the campsite—everyone likely heading to bed, other than those who had been chosen to keep first watch.

I knew I should tell Otho about the book of whispers, about the other books I’d burned, and the poison I was taking, but I couldn’t bring myself to disrupt the feeling of peace I felt as we stood there embracing.

Plus, he had enough to worry about.

There would be time for me to explain what I’d done later.

CHAPTER 15

After our conversation, we’d headed to sleep, both of us in Otho’s tent. We’d started with both of us lying on our backs, but then after asking permission, he pulled me into his arms, tucking me into his chest. It was peaceful as I fell asleep wrapped in his arms, like my aching heart finally found its home.

When I woke, he was already gone, but his bedroll was warm enough for me to know he hadn’t woken long before me.

I crawled out of the tent, the campsite a flurry of activity as Jase and Nel packed, while Ryle and Askel were bent over the fire, their heads close together as they discussed something. There was no sign of Karl, Otho, or Ena.

It must’ve been very early, though, as no whispers reached my ears, though I didn’t have a dose of belladonna for the day. I bit my lip as I watched the four of them prepare, nervousness flowing through me as I debated how I would come clean with Otho much sooner than I anticipated. Considering I had only taken a single dose the day before, it wouldn’t be long before I started to lose my mind.

Just as I was pacing back and forth, practicing the conversation I would have with him, Ena emerged from the trees, motioning me over.

One glance at the camp told me no one would miss me while I talked to her.

“I think I found belladonna, but I need you to verify.”

Hope flooded my body as I nodded and followed her as she weaved her way back through the brush. I had no idea how she was able to find her way, but she did, and it was indeed belladonna—the black berries in sharp contrast to the green leaves.

To make the same potion I had before, though, I needed moonflower, which I hadn’t spotted yet during our travels. But I also knew I would need to increase my dose in order to block my powers the same way I had been. I pulled the three empty vials from my brassiere, filling them with the berries. Without being watered down by moonflower and water, and with crushing the berries to squeeze in more, I estimated that what I gathered would be enough for six or eight days. Hopefully, we would be in Shianp by the time I needed more. And with any luck I’d be able to visit an apothecary there instead of scavenging.

“Thanks, Ena,” I told her as I shoved the cork into the last vial, replacing them in my undergarments before filling my hands with enough berries for today’s dose. When I turned to face my friend, she was frowning.

“What happened with Otho last night?” Her curiosity pricked me like a thorn.

I glanced back toward the camp, ensuring we were still alone, and I lowered my voice to be certain we wouldn’t be overheard. “Otho paid Ryle to switch sides.” Ena’s eyes widened. “Don’t trust either of them.” I tossed the berries into my mouth, grimacing as I chewed. Although Otho and his men had been generous enough to carry my sword for me, they hadn’t outfitted us with bags, which bothered me.

“But . . . it’s Otho.” I could feel her uncertainty.

I sighed, feeling the tension behind my eyes. I didn’t know how to explain to Ena that I knew that—that I was fighting a magical bond every time I established distance between us. But I knew I had to try, for her safety and mine. “I know. I want to trust him too, but . . . things are changing, and I don’t think he always makes decisions that are best for everyone.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but a high-pitched whistle sailed through the trees.

It was time to return to camp.

It was another long day of climbing, and like the day before, I climbed on my own, spending time with my thoughts. Otho was never far, though, usually only a few paces behind me. And anytime he did step into the trees, Ryle was right there to take his place.

It was as if he were afraid I would run the moment he looked away—though he should have known better based on my struggle to keep up as we climbed normally.

Ena also kept to herself, though if anyone noticed that she went exploring in the bushes far less than yesterday, they said nothing.

As the sun began to set, we reached the peak of the mountain we’d been climbing, and my arms, which had been crossed in front of me, dropped.

We’d reached the summit, and the view was like nothing I’d ever seen before. There were red mountains as far as the eye could see in every direction, though they grew purple in the distance. They extended in every direction, covering most of the terrain, except for a deep basin several mountains ahead, lit up so brightly it looked like a fallen star nestled in the mountains.

“That’s Shianp,” Otho whispered into my ear, the feeling sending a shiver down my spine. It didn’t help that the temperature had dropped as we’d climbed. It was officially the coldest I’d been all trip, and I pulled my cloak tighter around my shoulders.